Do You Wish It Was Me?
by HidekoChan90
Summary: Part one of my very first novel-length story. Ash and Misty have just gotten married, but marriage isn't the fairytale Misty thought it would be. Ash is hiding a terrible secret. She turns to Brock for help. Gymshipping. Warning:Lemons! Full synopsis
1. Today My World Slipped Away

Author's note: Ok, so a few things you should know about this story. Yes, it's super long. That's why i am dividing it into two parts. I tried to keep it very interesting if your into the drama genre and things like that. This story is a very adult story, despite that it features Pokemon characters. ^_^ lol. There is some Homosexual content, so if that kind of thing offends you. Don't read this story.

Also, the language in this book is quite strong. The sexual content of this story is rather strong as well, so I'm giving everyone a fair warning. This was not meant to offend anyone, it is strictly for entertainment purposes only! I own nothing, except for a few made-up characters and this plot idea.

This is a Gymshipping fanfiction, and if you're an avid PokeShipper...you might not want to read this one. Other than all of that stated above, I hope you enjoy my story and i will be looking forward to all of your reviews. Now that that is over with.....

Synopsis: Ash and Misty have just started their lives together. Their wedding was beautiful, but their happy life quickly takes a turn for the worse on their wedding night when the most special night of their lives turns out to be a hellish nightmare, especially for Misty. Ash refused to consomate their marriage.

Not being able to figure it out, Misty seeks the advice of her older friend, Brock Harrison who has been married for four years to Lucy Harrison, who also happens to be in love with her. A steamy love affair will result, and they find themseleves tangled in a web of lies, betrayel, and secrets. Will she be able to save her already rocky marriage to Ash Ketchum, or will she find herself in the arms of a married man?

Chapter 1

It was probably the most difficult thing Brock Harrison ever had to do. He stood up on the hollow, carpeted floor of that beautifully decorated church, dressed in a tuxedo that was proving to be very uncomfortable and watch his friend Ash Ketchum marry the girl he had been in love with for years.

Brock scanned his gaze over the sea of people, relaxing in the pews. Including his own wife, Lucy Harrison. She was a very tall woman, just barely shorter than himself with long straight black hair that fell down her back. She was slim and attractive. Brock's father, Flint Harrison, had praised him on finding such an idea woman to become his wife.

But still…

Some part of Brock's heart belonged to the girl who was standing at the end of that aisle. Misty Waterflower, who would soon become Misty Ketchum, wore a pure white dress, embellished with pearly white beads and lace. Her soft red hair was fixed intricately in the back and a sheer white veil covered her face.

Ash was shaking as he watched her three sisters file into place across from him. Then, the congregation stood and watched her as she stepped down the aisle. Professor Samuel Oak had linked arms with her.

He was Ash's step-father and had agreed to give her away since she lacked the father figure in her life since before she was born. Samuel was an extinguished man. A college biology professor at the biggest university in Landview and also an established poet who often did seminars at his place of work.

Delia had married him shortly after Ash's real dad, Spencer, left her to pursue another relationship with a man. It had scarred Delia, possibly for life and she still had scheduled meetings for a therapist three times a week. She was just starting to give Sam her trust, even though the incident had happened five years previous.

However, today was a joyous day for her and everyone else. Her son was finally getting married to a woman that she had dubbed as her own daughter. Misty was a nice, quiet, reserved girl who loved Ash with everything she had. And Delia wanted that for her son.

As she stepped closer, Ash lifted her veil and Brock looked away. She looked gorgeous today, as she did any other day. The way the light reflected off her eyes as she stared at Ash, they danced and sparkled with happiness and delight.

Ash was quivering and he looked over at Brock, as if for support or advice. Brock was three years his senior and was always the source of advice between the two of them. Misty felt it was an honor to have Brock as the best man and it had been something that had been planned since she and Ash established a relationship just a year ago.

If they hadn't been friends for so long, Brock would have found it strange that Ash wanted to rush into marriage so fast, but perhaps they didn't want to waste time with a long engagement after such a long friendship.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, Brock nodded, almost not believing he was going to stand here and watch this. But there was nothing he could do. He, himself, had gotten married on a whim to a self-absorbed, but very beautiful woman and that was the day he decided to put his feelings for Misty in his past, never to be rediscovered again.

But today…

Seeing her in this final moment of availability was agonizing to him.

He could faintly hear the priest ask Samuel if she gave him to Ash, and of course he said yes. Then the vows began…

Brock tried to ignore it, to tune out the words of love and undying devotion to one another and he found strange solace in seeing his mother, Lola Harrison, sitting out among the congregation with a video camera strapped to her hand.

She spotted him and smiled, and he could just imagine that she was zooming in on his face. Did she really have to capture the moment of sadness on film so that he could relive it twenty years from now.

But, that was Lola. She believed that if it wasn't on film, it never happened.

His father sat beside her, stern and stone-faced. His arm was wrapped around her shoulders, lovingly though.

Brock sighed and looked down at his black, polished shoe, scraping it across the plush carpeting. The move may have looked like a sign of boredom, but really it was a sign of misery. The raspy familiar voice of Ash saying "I do" was enough to drive him insane, but when the soft feminine voice spoke those same words, it was enough to kill him inside.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and fought back the tears that threatened to break through his façade of happiness as they were announced husband and wife in front of everyone. Friends and family cheered. Delia and Lola snapped pictures of the happy bride and groom and Lola even got one of Brock, trying in vain to avoid the camera as he escorted Violet Waterflower -Misty's oldest sister- down the aisle.

No one knew about his feelings, except for his mother. He shared everything with her and almost nothing with his father. His younger brother Forest only knew about his rendezvous with multiple women, but even that relationship had dried up since he had married Lucy.

When they walked through the double doors, Violet separated from him, giving him an affectionate kiss on the cheek. "You look handsome today, Brock." She snagged the opportunity at a moment when his wife wasn't around to stop it.

Lucy was very possessive and she had every right to be.

Brock was an extremely attractive, wealthy man, who was only at the young age of twenty seven and had established a career in the medical field as a Neurosurgeon. He gave Violet a smile back. He missed the days of flirting and charming smiles; of women swooning over the slightest hint of attention tossed towards their way.

"Thanks. You sisters look beautiful as well." He said, enjoying Violet's embarrassed reaction. She clopped away from him, her heels making a loud sound against the tile of the floor. Yes, in a way he still had that ability to make a woman feel beautiful and appreciated.

He had just made the mistake of not trying with Misty and now look where he was with her. They were both married, to two different people. The only difference was, she loved Ash. He wasn't sure if he loved Lucy.

Sure, he cared about her. The sex was great and she kept the house clean, but she didn't really excite him. He found himself fantasizing most nights while making lover to her. He closed his eyes and envisioned someone else because she didn't do it for him like a certain other woman did.

Brock hated himself for it. It made him feel guilty and Lucy was devoted to him, like a wife should be.

He stayed leaned against the wall for a long time, watching Ash and Misty make their way towards the special Limousine that would transport them to the reception hall at _La Bu Le_, a rich, lavish mansion owned by the major.

Samuel Oak had paid for the reservations.

Most of the congregation had left except for his wife, his parents and siblings, a few other mingling guests.

Lucy walked towards him after refreshing her make up for the reception. "Honey, are you coming?"

Brock looked up at her as she instinctively straightened out his lapels and fixed his tie. "Yea, I'm…I'm going to help mom with the kids. You take the car, I'll hitch a ride with Mom and Dad."

She smiled and nodded, giving him an intimate soft kiss before heading out the door. Lola stood watch and approached her oldest son only after his wife had left the building. Her heels echoed down the hall as she walked.

"Sweety, are you alright?" Lola asked, rubbing both of his shoulders lovingly. A sense of motherly devotion was evident and for some reason it made him want to bawl like a baby. But he was too much of a man for that.

"No. I'm not." He answered truthfully, watching her as she picked up his youngest of brothers. Four year old Billy jumped into her arms and she strained to hold him. Without much a word, Brock took him off her hands and held him with ease.

Lola smiled and wondered where Tilly, his twin sister had run off too. However, right now she was more concerned with Brock. "I know this was hard for you today. But, Honey, I'm proud of you for coming anyway and being the best man. That means the world to Ash, and Misty…"

"Yea, I know." Brock's voice was distant and for a moment, his mother felt like he was shutting her out, but then he spoke again, reopening the conversation. "It's just I still have these feelings for her. These left over feelings from high school that I never told her about and…Mom, I have to tell you, I almost didn't come into the church this morning."

Lola fluffed her short, curled, hair-sprayed brown hair, then casually dusted the lint off Brock's tuxedo. "I think it shows a lot for your character that you did. I'm proud to be your mother, sweety."

"Thanks, Mom."

"And I know you're father doesn't say it much, but he's proud of you too." She smiled and looked at him as he cradled Billy in his arms. The little boy was falling asleep, resting her head on Brock's shoulder. "You're going to make a wonderful father someday."

"I hope one day soon." He said casually, recalling the many fights and arguments that him and Lucy had over children. By nature, Brock was the fatherly type. He had spent countless hours tossing a football with his younger brothers and even did the agonizing task of having fake tea parties with his sisters and he had always wanted children of his own.

However, Lucy was in love with her figure. She was in love with her freedom, her lack of responsibility. Her selfishness was important to her. So important that she didn't want to share her time or space with anyone else, especially children.

For a moment, he contemplated bringing up the subject to Lucy later on tonight but that would probably land him on the couch again with a lumpy pillow and a thin blanket. He sighed, miserably.

"You love Lucy, don't you?" She suddenly asked.

Nodding, he repositioned Billy in his arms. "Yea. I do."

Smiling, Lola kissed his cheek and took her sleeping child from his arms. "That's all that matters then. Come on, honey. We better get to the reception. You're father brought the van, so there is room for you if you don't mind being squished by a bunch of children. Forest brought his own car, so I think that will help."

"Nah, I don't mind being mashed. I think if I survived Misty marrying Ash, I can survive anything."

* * *

The reception was tolerable for him. He spent most of the time talking to Forest about his car, dancing with Lucy and eating delicious food. _La Bu Le_ was a beautiful place and when the sunset, a pond was illuminated with floating candles and lighted walkways.

Lucy had gotten in some kind of discussion with Misty's sisters about a weight loss program that Daisy had found when none of them needed to lose an ounce of weight. In fact, he wished Lucy would gain some. He always liked curvy women, with hips and softness, but his wife was obsessed with staying model-thin.

He relaxed on a small bridge that stretched over the pond. It was a beautiful sight and a beautiful wedding. The most beautiful thing about it though was Misty and no sooner had he decided to join the party again he saw her approach him.

His heart almost stopped. She had removed the fluffy lower part of her wedding dress so that it would be easier to dance in. Her make up looked tired and worn and her hair had begun to fall down a bit. A few strands brushed her shoulders.

He swallowed hard, realizing his mouth had gone completely dry. He seemed to do that every time Misty was around.

"Hey…" Misty said with a smile as she stepped onto the wooden planks of the bridge in pretty white shoes. Her legs were exposed to just above the knee and he found himself staring, knowing exactly what he was going to fantasize about tonight if Lucy tried to seduce him into having sex with her.

"Hey." Brock said, clearing his throat. Never had he been so nervous around a woman, especially a woman younger than him. Normally, he would have any female, of any age, giggling and blushing and acting like a schoolgirl just like he had done to Violet earlier, but with Misty he lost his nerve. He felt like the socially awkward boy who clammed up at the sight of any pretty girl.

"I saw you over here all alone." She spoke up, leaning onto the rail, seemingly not worried about getting any marks on her dress. Pictures were over and done with. The day of his misery was forever immortalized on video and glossy photo paper. "Are you alright?"

"Yea." He cleared his throat, gathered his nerve. "I'm fine. I just…wanted some time alone to think."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Misty said, folding her hands in front of her and blushing. "I didn't mean to bother you."

"No." He shook his head and looked at her, loving the way she looked when she became embarrassed. "It's alright. If anyone was going to interrupt me I'm glad it was you."

They shared a laugh and Misty smiled up at him. "I'm leaving for the hotel suite in Pine Valley soon. I wanted to make sure I got a chance to say goodbye to you before we left. I probably won't see you for a couple of weeks."

Suddenly, something hit him. Something he hadn't even thought about until she mentioned her place for a honeymoon. Tonight, Ash would make love to her. Probably all night long, until the sun came up and then some.

He knew if he was the one who married her today he would make use of every second he had with her and he couldn't think of a reason why Ash or any other man would do any different. The thought rolled around in his mind, sent a sharp stab right through the very pit of him.

And what would he be doing tonight?

Fighting with Lucy? Or fantasizing about being with Misty when he knows Ash will really be the one with her at the exact moment.

He wasn't sure how long he had been thinking about it or how long he just stood there silent, but she spoke again.

"Brock?"

"Oh, yea…" He shook his head and approached her. She wrapped her arms around him and he enveloped her in an embrace, admiring how delicate and feminine she felt in his arms. He loved hugging her, touching her. It gave him a feel of her skin, of her feminine softness, the slight curves of her hips.

Misty smiled and rested her head on his chest. Brock always gave really great hugs. Strong and bear-like. Safe and protective. Reassuring and loving. After a long moment, she pulled away.

"Goodbye, Brock. Ash and I will give Lucy and you a call tomorrow from the hotel." She said, promisingly, grabbing onto his hands with her own.

"Bye Misty." He forced himself to say it, even though he really wanted to ask her to stay just a little while longer, maybe even dance with him, but that would just make it worse. She wasn't his and she never would be. "Be careful. Have a great night."

He meant it. He wanted her to have a great night with Ash, full of love and passion and happiness. It's what she deserved and he wanted her to have it all.

With a nod, she slipped away from him and walked graciously back to the congregation. To the noise of happiness and merriment. To the celebration that was for Ash and Misty.

When she was out of sight, he sighed. It was getting late and he figured Lucy was probably drunk from too much champagne and would be wanting to head home soon. He headed back in the direction Misty had went and found his wife, buzzed, just as he expected.

Clumsily, Lucy stumbled away from Violet, Daisy and Lilly and smiled up at him. "You've got to get me away from this champagne. I'm a little tipsy. We should go home and have sex while I'm still drunk enough to do something kinky." She giggled.

Brock raised an eyebrow and gripped her hand. "I think you should go home and rest. You'll probably have a hangover in the morning." He dismissed himself from Misty's sisters and headed towards the parking lot, not wanting to draw anymore attention towards himself than Lucy was already drawing. He could see that Ash and Misty were already loading into the limo with their luggage.

He tried not to think about it. Instead, he cranked the engine of his pick up truck, made sure Lucy was buckled in and pulled out of his parking space and onto the main road. Lucy giggled and laughed all the way back home and he hoped she would sober up with a cup of coffee.

When they arrived home, he helped her to the bedroom and plopped her down on the bed before heading downstairs and starting a pot of coffee. He figured he might as well have a cup as well, seeing as he probably wouldn't have the piece of mind to be sleeping tonight.


	2. Bring On The Rain

Chapter 2

With two cups of straight black coffee, he headed up to the bedroom where Lucy had already stripped off her dress and lay sprawled on the bed in nothing but skimpy lingerie. She grinned up at him, still in a drunken state.

"Make love to me, Brock." She said in a giggly overly dramatic way.

He gave her a friendly smile. It wasn't an unusual thing for her to get drunk at a celebration, or a party, or even just for a holiday. He was used to taking care of her when she became intoxicated. "I think you need to sober up before we do anything."

Lucy rolled over on her stomach and ran her fingers through her hair. "I remember there was a time you would have taken advantage of me having a little too much to drink. What's gotten into you, Harrison?"

"I grew up." He answered truthfully as he watched her sit up. She took the cup of coffee from him and took a short, quick sip. It was hot, strong and pungent. She blinked a few times as if her sobriety was already starting to come back by just the smell of it alone.

"That's powerful stuff." She commented, taking another sip. Normally, she hated black coffee and Brock knew when she refused to drink anymore that she had gained some of her sense back.

He took a few sips himself, not enjoying the taste anymore than she was. He rested his cup on the night stand and Lucy eventually did the same, then leaned back onto her pillow and looked up at the ceiling.

"Better?" Brock questioned his wife, trying not to think of the time. It would only have taken Ash an hour to get from the reception to Pine Valley, which was located just south of Mount Moon and Pewter City.

He didn't want to think about what they were doing right now.

Lucy nodded, mutely.

He sighed and wrapped his arms around her thin form. He was her husband, her protector and her lover and that was what he was supposed to do. No matter how much she pissed him off at times.

And he certainly should not be thinking about Misty.

But he was.

"You know I don't like it when you drink like that, Lucy." He stated honestly and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Brock. I'm a grown woman." She crossed her arms over her chest and pushed him away. "Besides, I have no responsibilities. It's not like I have children I have to take care of. I'm still young and I should enjoy my youth."

"Well, I wish we did have children!" He swore he wasn't going to bring this up tonight, but at the mention of kids he couldn't help it. It was something he felt strongly about and he hated the way Lucy was so incredibly selfish.

Lucy shielded her eyes from the dim lighting on bedside lamp. "I could really live without brats screaming for me every two seconds. I wouldn't have time to make myself sexy for you."

Brock rolled his eyes. When he had married Lucy just four years ago, she was the same. He had thought that marriage would have grown her up and maybe her instincts would have kicked in and she would want to become a mother. But she was still as immature as ever.

"You're still on the pill?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course." She said, sighing.

"Well, can't we compromise?" It was one last proposal, but when he saw her turn over on her side and face away from him, his depression set in deeper.

"I'm not compromising my uterus." She stated, clearly annoyed with his nagging.

He felt his throat catch. "Not even in ten or fifteen years?" He hated the way his voice quivered, it showed his weakness, his emotional side that he always tried so hard to cover up. But he was human and the thought of never becoming a father really upset him.

"No, never, Brock." Lucy pulled the quilt over her shoulders and closed her eyes. Nausea was starting to set in and she just wanted to sleep, not argue. "I'm going to sleep."

He stood up from the bed. She hadn't kicked him out, but he just didn't want to be in the same bed or even the same room for her. Sometimes it felt like he had fallen out of love with her, if he was even in it to begin with. It was a horrible feeling and he hated it when it washed over him.

"Where are you going?" She asked when she saw him tugging on a pair of jeans.

"Out." He responded. Tonight, he just couldn't stay here in this house, alone with Lucy. Not while he was thinking of Misty alone with Ash. He felt like he had hit rock bottom. Today, he had lost everything he'd ever wanted.

He always knew it would happen and he just sat back for the last four years while he pretended to be happy in a marriage he clearly wasn't satisfied with, and let it happen. Now she was gone. Forever.

His truck gave a shaky start and then he pulled out of the driveway, onto the suburban streets of their neighborhood. He wasn't sure where he was going, he didn't really have a place in mind.

The night was pitch black, not even a moon hung in the sky and no stars peeked through the gray clouds. It was like a black abyss he driving through and even though it was the middle of July, the night was cold.

Brock was sickened with anger towards his wife. He felt like he had married a selfish woman. One who only cared about herself.

Somehow he found himself by the East Street bridge. It had a beautiful view of night skyline of the distant city and it stretched a few miles over a beautiful harbor. He parked his truck and got out. A walk is what he needed to clear his head, to forget about the day he had.

A warm summer breeze brushed across his face. It felt so good and refreshing. He approached the railing and looked out over the harbor, admiring the distant ships as they sailed smoothly in the dark water.

As he walked, he heard a pair of light footsteps behind him. They were weak and timid, non-threatening. Brock stopped and whirled around to see an old man with a torn jacket and raggedy dirty clothes. White wiry hair stuck out from underneath an old French beret.

Ignoring him, Brock continued his walk, every once in a while looking over the side of the bridge. The water looked deep and foreboding, despite it's calm surface. It was pitch black and murky. The bridge was high above it.

Another car rushed past him and he felt the wind from it.

This wasn't the first time he had suicidal thoughts. He had thought many, many times to come out here late at night and just jump. Why shouldn't he? He had nothing to live for. Nothing to show for his twenty-seven years of life.

He had no children. A selfish, gold-digging wife and now…

Now he didn't even have Misty anymore.

Finally, he stopped walking and looked back to where he had parked his truck. He could barely see it now, it was nothing but a mere dot on the horizon. Finally, he reached in his pocket and pulled out a tiny black case.

It was coated with a thick layer of dust, but the ring inside was still gorgeous and sparkling. It was the very same ring he had bought for Misty their senior year in high school for the day he was going to tell her about how he felt about her and pray to God she felt the same way.

However, he had lost his nerve and kept the ring hidden very safely in his room where no one would find it. He had planned to sell it when he met Lucy in college, but instead he drove to pawn shop and didn't even bother going inside. He knew he couldn't get rid of it.

Now, he's had it for ten years and no one, not even his mother, knew about it.

The old man with the beret kept getting closer and Brock knew he was homeless by now. His jeans looked decades old and his gloves had holes in them. He once again turned away from him and took the ring from the slot in the black velvet.

He remembered he had thought about just giving this ring to Lucy. After all, it cost him three paychecks. Why not give it to another girl when Misty didn't even know it existed? But he couldn't.

This was _Misty's_ ring. It belonged to her even if he never gave it to her.

The diamond sparkled under the bridge lights. It was crystal clear and of very high quality. He smiled when he remembered thinking nothing was too good for Misty. He would have spent every last penny in his account just to make her happy. He still would.

Brock almost felt guilty about not paying as much for Lucy's engagement ring or wedding ring, but his mother had assured him that money wasn't really an issue. Of course, she also didn't know he had spent over three thousand dollars on a ring for a girl who didn't even return his feelings.

With only the thought of Ash and Misty's marriage on his mind, he reared back his arm and threw the ring out over the harbor. He threw it so hard his shoulder ached and he didn't even hear where it had landed in the water.

His lips felt dry and he leaned against the rail, feeling as if he was going to cry. He looked down into the water again and he was actually mustering up the nerve to climb over, but his concentration was interrupted when the old man approached closer.

The soles of his shoes were falling off and his socked toe was sticking out of the front. Sympathy washed over Brock and he dug in his pocket for money. A couple bucks and a few pennies was all he had and, with what he was planning to do, he couldn't make much use of it anyway.

The old man grinned at him with a snaggle-toothed smile and he held out a partially gloved hand.

Brock gave him a polite smile and handed him the two bucks and the pennies. Maybe it would be enough for a new pair of sandals at the dollar store, or maybe a cheeseburger from a fast food restaurant. At least he would have done something for somebody in this world before he went.

"God bless you, young man." The old man said, bowing to his graciously.

"You take care." Brock said, hoping and assuming the old man would go along his merry way. In fact, he didn't even care if he used the money to buy himself cigarettes or booze, he just wanted him gone.

Instead, the old man leaned against the rail with him, a look of shame washed over his tired old face. "You know, Boy," He said, gruffly, much to Brock's annoyance. "I wouldn't be out here beggin' for money if I had a bite to eat. Ain't no job out there for an old geezer like myself."

"I'm sure that is plenty of money to buy some food somewhere." Brock didn't mean to sound irritated, but he was. A man couldn't even commit suicide without some homeless bum breathing down his neck!

"I've been there before, son." The old man took off his hat, he was bald on top. "Good-lookin' boy like you shouldn't look so gloomy. You shouldn't be havin' woman troubles."

Surprised, Brock looked over at him. How the hell did he know? From years of experience? He looked like he had definitely been put through a few ringers in his day.

"It's not really trouble, it's just…." Brock paused, feeling like a complete fool for telling a complete stranger about his personal life. "Ok, there's this girl."

"Ah! Is she pretty?"

"Beautiful." He corrected.

"So, what's the problem?" The man asked, looking straight at him. He was very intent and Brock assumed that the old man probably didn't communicate with very many people.

"She got married today. To my best friend." He informed him, seeing the old man nod. "And, I don't even know why I'm sad. I mean, I'm married to a very beautiful woman, but this other girl…she's had my heart for years."

"Very common, my boy. Happened to me once. I was married to a woman, had an affair with my high school sweetheart, so I divorced my first wife and we ended up getting married and we had forty wonderful years together, but tragically, she died." The crows feet around his eyes were deep and he patted a dirty hand on his back. Strangely, Brock didn't feel uneasy about it. Normally, he would have recoiled in disgust, but something about this old man was trusting. "By the way, name's Neal. Neal Dash."

He offered a dirty hand and Brock hesitated for a moment. He had shaken homeless people's hands before when they had come into the hospital for various medical emergencies and normally he could feel the grime and dirty that was imbedded in the cracks and crevices of their hands, but when he shook Neal's hand, it felt clean, but slightly calloused.

"Brock Harrison."

Neal smiled again. "Listen, my boy, no matter how dark things seem now. They can, and will get better. I've been living at the shelter now for almost twenty-seven years and I'm as happy as a clown."

Brock didn't see how anyone could be happy living like that. He had nowhere to call his home. No family. No career. No food to eat at times. No warm place to sleep. He looked like he could barely shower and yet he was smiling and laughing, grateful for the two bucks Brock had given him.

And here he was wanting to commit suicide? Why?

"Yea, I guess you're right." Brock swallowed his pride. "I'll just have to get on with my life. I'll have to get over Misty." He said, knowing damn well he'd never be able to.

"Misty?" The old man peered up at him. "That her name?"

He nodded slowly. And what a beautiful name it was. The two of them started back towards Brock's truck and his body still shook from what might have happened if Neal Dash hadn't been there. All he really needed was to feel like he wasn't alone. That someone out there who was older and wiser knew what he was going through.

"You put your faith in a higher power and everything will work out the way it's supposed to." Neal gave him a wink, patted him on his arm and turned away. Brock was back at his truck and he gripped the cold metal door handle. Suddenly, it felt good to be alive. The sense of hopelessness just melted away and even though he thought he never would be again, he was driving his truck home again.

* * *

The honeymoon suite was gorgeous inside. Misty had briefly surveyed her surroundings, but she didn't waste too much time getting Ash to the bedroom. It had been a long wait, five years to be exact, but she had remained a virgin for her wedding night. She wanted to be pure for her husband, and now she would be.

The bed was large and piled up with fluffy pillow and quilts. Ash ripped of his bowtie and gave her a seductive smile as she lay back on the bed, closing her eyes and waiting for Ash to take her.

His black hair was wild and untamed and she liked the site of that. There had been many times they had kissed and fooled around, but Ash was always the gentlemen and he respected Misty's wishes and boundaries. He would stop himself and she would reluctantly follow.

But tonight he didn't have to stop. He was finally going to make love to her.

Her wedding dress had been easy to slip off and she lay underneath him in skimpy lingerie that Lucy had given her for her wedding night at her wedding shower. Lucy had said she bought the same thing for herself and that Brock was practically putty in her hands.

Misty wanted that with Ash. She wanted him to not be able to resist making love to her.

His hands were on her bare skin and she could feel him trembling. Yes, she must have been exciting him. Then, she did something she had always wanted to do, but never quite had the nerve to do it. She ran her fingers over his crotch, expecting to feel a large, stiff bulge in his slacks.

Instead, she felt nothing. Softness, and no arousal despite his heavy breathing.

Concerned, she looked up at him. He must have been totally nervous, after all, Ash had told her he was a virgin as well. "Ash? You don't have to be nervous." Misty looked up at him as he hovered over her and she pulled down the straps of her bra. "I'm your wife now. This is alright."

He nodded and watched her as she pulled them down further until her breasts were exposed to him. She smiled seductively as he just stared from her breasts to her face. A move like that was sure to get any man's hormones raging and she pulled his head down to her chest. She wanted to feel the sensation of his tongue on her skin, as Lucy had described as if you were "ascending to heaven". She wanted to see if everything about sex was true and she wanted to feel it now.

Ash hesitantly kissed her skin, timidly. Misty smiled and after she gave him enough time to work himself up, she reached her hand between his legs again. Softness.

A lump rose in her throat. It was her. She wasn't exciting him. Her husband just wasn't aroused enough by her. "Ash, what's wrong?"

He looked up at her, almost grateful for the non-sexual question. "Nothing. I'm just…n-nervous." He stammered and Misty rubbed the back of his head and down his neck. She was clearly aroused, but he just seemed plain frightened.

"Don't be." She tried to comfort him, but it didn't help.

Instead, Ash clambered out of bed. "I need to brush my teeth. I have this…weird taste in my mouth and I'm afraid my breath is going to smell or something. Can you give a second?"

Nodding, she watched him run into the bathroom and she sat up, covering herself up. She was a little angry, but most of all befuddled. There had been countless times she had kissed Ash right after he had eaten onions or garlic. Sure, it wasn't the most pleasant kiss in the world, but she sure as well wasn't worried about his breath right now.

Besides, it didn't even smell bad so she didn't know why he was acting so weird.

Then again, he was nervous. Maybe he had gone into the bathroom to catch his breath, think more clearly. Sometimes she wished he could have the smooth, effortless confidence that Brock had.

She stopped.

Where the hell did that come from?

The bathroom door open and Ash emerged, awkwardly with his jeans around his ankles and a bulge in his white underwear. He smiled, mock-confidently. "I'm ready for you baby."

Misty blinked, confused. He went into the bathroom to work himself up over some plastic bimbo with fake boobs and fake hair in some sleazy magazine? Hurt and anger rose within her.

"Forget it, Ash!" She growled and went over to her suitcase pulling out a silk night gown and donning it on over her lingerie. "I'm not in the mood anymore."

Ash's mouth fell open. "But, Misty…"

"No! If I'm not sexy enough to turn you on without the help of a Playboy then we don't need to be having sex." Her voice cracked and she broke out into a sob. "I'm going to sleep on the couch."

"No, Misty, wait…" Ash pulled up his pants and buckled his jeans, but she had already shut the bedroom door and was pulling out the bed from the couch in the living room. Sighing, and feeling ashamed, Ash went and lay in the large empty bed by himself.

Tonight, he was just nervous. Tomorrow night would be better. He only had the weekend to make love to her before the honeymoon was over and he didn't want to waste a single minute.

Misty lay curled up on the couch bed, which was quite comfortable for a pull out. But it was empty and cold and lonely. To make matters worse, she was crying and she loved for a pair of big, strong warm arms to hug her.

She closed her eyes and imagined it. Large, solid frame. Big broad shoulders. The scent of cologne and aftershave. Then, she realized who she was thinking about.

Brock.

Misty bit her lower lip nervously. Why was she thinking about him? It was her wedding night, she should have at least been thinking about Ash even though she was mad at him and not her best friend's husband.

She wiped the last of her tears away and she just felt numb. Numb towards Ash and numb towards her own feelings of being hurt and feeling inadequate. Eventually, she felt herself falling asleep from pure exhaustion and Ash Ketchum wasn't who she saw in her dreams.


	3. Holding Her, Loving you

Chapter 3

Sunday morning service was very important to Lola Harrison. She and Flint always attended the mass both in the morning and in the evenings. If their schedule permitted, they would even attend in a mid-week Wednesday evening service.

Brock would attend occasionally, even if only for his mother. Though he knew he should really attend more. Lucy refused to wear the same dress to church twice, so she always showed up in something different and flashy. She looked like she was about to attend a cocktail party rather than a Catholic mass.

Lola settled all her children in and smiled when she saw that her oldest son had attended. Religion was important to her and she gave Brock a kiss on the cheek before settling down next to Flint.

It was a quiet, conservative congregation. A few people got up to pray and even his father, Flint had joined at the front to pray. During that time, he noticed his mother pull out a handkerchief and dab her eyes. He knew Forest and the rest of his siblings didn't really understand why their mother got so emotional when Flint had started pray. But Brock knew why.

Flint Harrison prayed for the two lives he took back twenty seven years ago. Just after his birth, his father had started to drink and on his way home from a bar late one night he ran a red light and killed two people. A mother and a daughter.

He lay unconscious for a month in the hospital, unaware of the lives that he had taken. His blood alcohol level was .20 as tested by doctors and he was charged with a DUI and involuntary manslaughter.

Of course, the charges were dropped because he had hired the best lawyer in town and had somehow convinced a judge he had been drugged by an anonymous patron.

Still, Brock knew it bothered him everyday that it had happened and twenty-seven years later he still prayed for the lives he took. After a few moments, Flint rejoined his wife and she placed her hand on his leg.

Just like she did every Sunday since he could remember.

After a few more prayers and some bible stories, the congregation stood up and greeted each other. His parents were very popular among the church goers, but Brock and Lucy weren't so much. They found Lucy snobby and conceited, while they found Brock to be a womanizer as he was back in high school.

The older, more prudish people scrutinized them and he always was sure to make a quick exit out of the church and into his pickup truck.

"Why do we even bother with church, Brock?" Lucy asked, checking her hair and make up in the mirror. "Those people can't stand us and we never practice what we learn."

"It's for Mom and Dad." He looked out the back window as he pulled out of the church parking lot and settled back into his seat as he cruised down the road, shifting gears every once in a while as he changed speeds.

As soon as they got home, Lucy had insisted on a shower and after he politely declined her proposal to join her, he noticed the red light on his answer machine was blinking. He checked the time. It was almost one o'clock and he thought it was probably Misty.

He waited until he heard the rush of water in the upstairs bathroom and then he played it, hearing first the monotone voice of a woman telling him the date and time of the call. "New Message. Sunday, 12:17 PM."

Then a beep and Misty's voice. She sounded as if she had been crying or upset.

"Hey, Brock. It's Misty." She sounded nervous and she paused, as if she didn't know quite what to say. "I just wanted to let you know we made it to Pine Valley and into our hotel safely. We're headed back tomorrow afternoon." Then she paused and waited.

Brock leaned against the counter and listened. Then she spoke again. "I kind of need to talk to you about something. But I think it would be better to just talk to you in person because it's kind of…embarrassing. So, I'll see you when I get home. Anyway, Ash and I are headed out to lunch…Bye Brock. Tell Lucy I said Hi."

Then she hung up.

Raising an eyebrow, he deleted the message. If it was _their_ honeymoon, he definitely wouldn't be taking her out to lunch. Hell, they probably wouldn't even be leaving the hotel room if he could help it, but a man had to eat, he supposed.

Then he thought about it. Last night Ash had probably had the most amazing night of his life and what was he doing? Standing at the rail of the East Street bridge talking to Neal Dash. Of course, he was grateful the old man had practically saved his life.

He shook his head. Every time he heard her voice he became distracted and he didn't even notice Lucy had entered the kitchen until she was right in front of him, in nothing but a short towel.

Her hair was wet and clung to her back and she looked up at him with a sensual glance. "I had a little trouble washing my back. Think you can do it for me?" She batted her eyelashes at him, playfully and he grinned.

He had been sexually frustrated since he had been with Misty last night on the small bridge over the pond. He had planned to come home, sober Lucy up just because he didn't feel right having sex with a drunk woman, and doing his usual fantasizing, but instead they had gotten in another fight.

Which they hadn't really had the chance to make up for since they had rushed off to church as soon as they woke up.

Brock kissed her and she kissed him back, passionately and pulled him upstairs to the bathroom. He stripped off his clothes and Lucy let go of her towel and it fell to the floor around her feet.

She hurried into the shower and he followed, working up a thick lather in his hands. She pressed her breasts against the wall and moaned out dramatically as he ran his soapy hands down her back.

He grunted and closed his eyes, wondering what it would feel like to do this with Misty. It wasn't technically cheating if you made love to a woman in your mind was it? By the time he had washed her body, he was aroused and without much prompting, he pushed her against the wall and entered her.

Within a matter of minutes, she reached her climax and then again. And again. Until she was weak in his arms. Then he closed his eyes and thought about Misty, resisted calling our her name and then released himself inside of her.

Brock separated from her and she pulled him in for a kiss before they both stepped out of the shower and got dressed.

"You are the most incredible lover in the world." Lucy giggled girlishly and he playfully slapped her behind and she dashed out of the bathroom, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Staring into the mirror, he berated himself. He felt better, physically, but emotionally he was drained. Sometimes he felt as if he using Lucy, using her body, to satisfy himself and he hated doing that. Still, he couldn't stop thinking about Misty and he found himself wondering what it would be like to actually make love to her.

He was tired of just sex. Of course he loved Lucy to some extent, but when they had sex, it was just that. Sex. No love. No deep emotional attachment. At least not for him, and he hated that, too.

Sighing, he turned off the light and exited the bathroom. The house was quiet. Too quiet at times. The thought of wanting kids was coming back, strong now. It always did, especially on days like today. Warm, sunny and bright.

Brock imagined spending Sunday afternoons with his sons outside. Or listening to his daughters play piano. Something domesticated, something that gave him a sense of responsibility.

When he entered the kitchen, he saw Lucy sitting at the table just picking up her favourite romance novel and flipping it to her bookmarked page. She smiled at him, but they didn't talk. They seemed to do that a lot.

Then, he looked at the answering machine. The message was deleted, but he still couldn't imagine what Misty would want to talk about. He was positive it had to do with something sexual and he wasn't sure if he could sit there and listen to her tell about her first sexual encounter with Ash, but if she needed his help or advice, he was there.

He always was.

* * *

By Sunday evening, it was safe to say that her honeymoon had been a disaster. Misty was miserable and sad, and when she tried to talk to As about it, he quickly dismissed her or became angry at her.

She had always been slightly uncomfortable with the way she looked. Her stomach was flat, but not toned like some other women. Her breasts weren't small, but not exactly double D's like most men would go for. And her hair was a beautiful ginger spice red, thick and luxurious but she had always hated it.

And now, Ash had just made her feel worse about herself.

They would be headed home tomorrow and she was almost grateful about it. She wasn't planning on having sex with Ash, she wasn't even going to try. After all, it should just happen. A man and a woman alone together in a house, sharing a bed and who have just gotten married?

It was guaranteed to happen when the time was right. It was only natural.

Of course, for as long as she made him wait they should have been going at it like rabbits right now. But they weren't.

Instead, Ash was watching reruns of old sitcoms and Misty was in the bedroom, reading a sappy romance novel and hated the way the writer had made it sound like sex was such a wonderful thing. She wouldn't know if it was or not.

However, it invoked strange feelings in her and as she pictured the characters in her mind, she suddenly found herself and Brock in the middle of the sensual love scene. As soon as the thought entered her mind, she closed the novel.

She wasn't allowed to think like that. She was a married woman now and she just had to put those thoughts out of her head. According to Lucy, Brock was an incredible lover and Misty would like to think Ash would be if she could ever get him to have sex with her.

The cold hard fact was, it shouldn't have been this hard. In fact, Ash should have been the one chasing her around, begging for sex. Isn't that how marriage worked?

Misty was just about to pick up her novel again when the bedroom door opened. Ash leaned in and for an instant, she felt excited. Had he come in to finally consummate their marriage, even though it was an odd time.

But soon, Misty's hopes suddenly fell when he spoke his real reasons for approaching her. He looked almost uncomfortable, as if he wasn't quite comfortable in being in a bedroom with her. "Hey, do you want to go out to eat?"

Honestly, no. She wasn't hungry. She would rather just lay in bed for the rest of the night and wait patiently to go back home to Landview and start her life as Ash's wife and hope that things got better.

"Sure." Misty replied, standing up from the bed.

No, she wasn't experienced in relationships. Or sex for that matter. But even she knew this wasn't normal behavior of newlyweds. According to Brock, the lack of sex didn't start until well after the children arrived and even then it was at least once a day.

Of course, what did he know? He didn't have any children and he was a lecherous man, even though he had been faithful to Lucy for years.

Ash took her to a small, Texas-style diner in the middle of the buzzing metropolis of Pine Valley called _Buenos Dias_. The atmosphere was casual and the wooden-paneled walls were cast in different colours from neon lights.

The smell of food was prominent and Misty realized she was indeed hungry.

Ash sat across from her and smiled at her, as if this was their first date. As if he had never been around another female before and that mere action made her feel like getting married might have been a mistake.

She tried to ignore it and enjoy her dinner. After all, it was the first thing they had done since they had been on their honeymoon and she didn't want to dwell on the bad stuff anymore. They barely spoke as they looked over the menus and then their waiter approached the table.

He was short and stocky, a bit chunky and he wore a red sweatband, which held back long locks of black hair from his face. He looked tired and worn, but he greeted her with a smile, but it faltered when it fell upon Ash.

It could have just been her, but Misty could have sworn she saw Ash's eyes flash with panic.

"Hello, my name's Tracy." The waiter focused on Misty and pulled out his order pad, flipping the front of it over. "I'll be your waiter tonight. May I start you off with something to drink?"

"Sweet tea." Misty ordered, politely.

"W-water." Ash stammered without Tracy's prompting and the waiter quickly retreated to the back. Ash sat across from her, both his elbows on the table and he looked down at his legs. The table was shaking because of him and Misty scowled.

"What is up with you today?"

"Huh? What?" He looked up at her, shock was evident in his eyes.

"You're just acting…strange. Is everything alright?"

Ash forced a smile. "Everything's great, Honey." The name of affection seemed forced and Misty crossed her legs under the table.

When they ordered their food, Tracy had avoided Ash's gaze and he had started to tear off the corners of his napkin. Misty decided to leave it alone and she wondered if she really made him _that_ nervous. If she did, then he shouldn't have married her.

Her anger was mounting more and more and she found herself not wanting to wait until the morning to go home.

Tracy arrived with the food just moments later and she eagerly dug into her salad. She was starved, but was soon interrupted when Ash angrily flagged down another passing waiter.

A tall, thin man who's nametag read Norman stopped and asked him what the problem was.

"My chicken's burnt to a crisp!" He spat angrily, pointing down to his plate. The chicken looked delicious to her. Cooked to perfection and smothered in a tangy pineapple sauce, she almost wished she would have ordered it herself.

So what was Ash's problem?

Was he just being a jerk like normal?

Norman raised an eyebrow and picked it up from the table. "I'll bring you another one."

"Yea, and also, can we have another waiter? Our current one is a real jerk."

The thin waiter stopped and looked over at Misty with question, seeing she was just as equally confused. "I'll take over your table sir." And then he was off.

Misty tossed a cherry tomato aside with her fork. "Ash, that was very rude. There was nothing wrong with that chicken and our waiter was a nice guy!"

Ash scowled and crossed his arms. "He was staring at me! Noticed how he gave me my plate first? I think he was flirting!"

Rolling her eyes, she stabbed a piece of grilled chicken with her fork. "So what? He's gay. I assume that means he can't refill our drinks and deliver our food properly?"

He leaned back in the booth and waited for a new dish to be brought to him. "You know I have a problem with it. After what Dad did to Mom."

"Still," She said, shaking her head. It bothered her that Ash was so judgmental, but she tried to overlook it. After all, when Spencer had left his mother for Chet Wilkins, a very handsome underwear model for Abercrombie and Fitch, it had really put his family in turmoil.

And his mother still hadn't recovered from it.

Misty couldn't imagine what Delia must have went through. She bore him a child, raised that child up to be a teenager and had the picture perfect life and she had been completely in love with Spencer. And then he did that to her.

No wonder she was intense therapy.

But Delia had assured everyone she was happy and moving on now with Samuel Oak. Couldn't Ash just except it and move on as well?

Tracy walked by their table and eyed Ash. Embarrassment washed over Misty. He probably thought they were a couple of judgmental, stuffed shirts.

Norman bought him another plate of the same exact dish and this time, Ash ate it. Tracy tried to avoid their section and Misty wanted nothing more than to just go back to the hotel room, sleep, and go back home.

Eventually, Norman brought the check to their table and Ash quickly paid with cash and didn't wait for his change. Instead, he insisted they leave and she was more than happy to comply.

She took a shower and climbed into bed next to Ash. Even if she was angry with him and a little bit hurt, it was still their honeymoon and she wanted to make love to him.

Wrapping her arms around his waist, she rested her head on his chest and smiled. "Ash…" She whispered sensual, making small circles with her fingers on his chest. He lay there with his arms behind his head.

"What?"

"Can we make love tonight?" She asked, shyly. "I promise I'm not mad anymore about last night, or tonight at the restaurant, even if I don't completely agree with what you did. I'd still like to make love to you."

"Not tonight, Misty." Ash groaned, clearly annoyed and he turned his towards her.

Misty felt her throat tighten and physical pain in her chest. "But Ash, it's our second and last night of our honeymoon. Don't you want to--"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Misty!" He turned around to face her in the dark and she jumped back, frightened of his raised voice and sudden movement. "We've got our whole fucking lives to have sex! It's not that damn important!"

She felt a tear roll down her cheek and she grabbed her pillow off of the bed. Without a word she slammed the bedroom door shut and angrily pulled out the couch bed in the living room. Not even bothering with sheets or a quilt, she plopped down on it and sobbed.

Misty cried so hard her chest and throat hurt and she hated herself. She hated herself because she was ugly and not sexy enough to seduce her own husband.

After almost an hour of self-loathing she turned on the television, deciding sleep was out of the question tonight. It was fast approaching midnight and she wondered if Brock was still awake. It wasn't unusual for him to be awake at this hour, reading, or watching a late news cast, but then again, she didn't want to bother him.

Knowing him and Lucy, they were probably in the middle of making love since that's all they seemed to do since before they got married. A pang of jealousy roared through her and she looked down at his contact number in her phone.

No, she wouldn't call. What would she say anyway? _My husband won't sleep with me. What do I do?_ No, she was a grown, married woman now and she couldn't go running to older, wiser people about her marital problems.

Instead, she lay her head down on the pillow and tried her best to grasp sleep.


	4. Suspicions

Chapter 4

The coffee cup was warm in her hands as she took it from Brock on Monday afternoon. It was a delicious cup of French vanilla tea, sweetened with honey and a dash of sugar. It comforted her in a strange way. The smell, the taste, the warmness. But most of all, the company of the man who made it.

Brock took a sip of his own tea, opting against brewing up a caffeinated pot of coffee and sat down across from her of his kitchen table. "So, what happened?" He asked, and he knew it was pretty serious and pretty personal for Misty to want to speak to him so urgently and she had preferred if Lucy wasn't present, so Brock had handed her his credit card and the keys to his Corvette and she was gone.

"It's kind of embarrassing…" Misty blushed and looked away, then down at her cup of tea and then finally back into his eyes.

He grinned at her, reassuringly. This might be hard for him to talk about with her, but he was going to help her through it. "Ah, c'mon. You've known me forever. You can tell me anything." On impulse, he reached out and grasped her hand with his and squeezed.

The gesture was somehow innocent, yet completely sexual in nature at the way his fingers rubbed the back of hand. Misty felt something jump inside her.

"Ash and I…didn't consummate our marriage. If you know what I mean." She told him and she half-expected him to laugh, but instead he just sat there. Completely shocked.

"What?" He furrowed his brow in confusion. "You mean you two didn't have…sex…on your honeymoon?"

She nodded, mutely. "I just don't know what I did wrong. I mean, the first night we came in and went straight to the bedroom. I was wearing that lingerie that Lucy gave me for my shower."

His jaw tightened. Ah, yes, he knew exactly what that looked like too and he found himself fantasizing about what it would have looked like on her and how much he wanted to be the one to take it off.

He blinked himself back into focus.

"He wasn't even excited and I had almost gotten completely naked." Her eyes were full of questions as she explained her story and he didn't know why that had to be the first sentence he focused back in on. Now, he was thinking about her underneath him, naked and sensual. Pure and innocent, about to be corrupted by him in the most intimate of ways.

Misty continued, oblivious to obvious look of lust in Brock's eyes. "Then, he just takes off into the bathroom and I'm sitting there thinking 'what the hell is going on', and then he comes out with his…you know…." She chuckled a bit from embarrassment and Brock couldn't help but grin. "So, he had went into the bathroom and got himself excited with porn magazines. Needless to say, I got upset and we didn't have sex."

After she finished her rant, Brock took a short sip of his tea. "Did you see these magazines?"

"No. I looked…I couldn't find them."

"Ah, well, that means one of two things. Either, he hid them really, really well in that hotel bathroom or he fantasized about something in his head." Brock was being truthful and he hated to see the look that came into her eyes.

"Another woman?" Panic filled Misty's voice and he hesitated before answering.

"Quite possibly."

"Have you ever done it, Brock?" She looked up at him, the question was full of a serious curiosity. "Have you ever fantasized about another woman while you were with Lucy?"

Brock put down his coffee cup and swallowed. What a question for her, of all people, to ask so unexpectedly. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head and made a thoughtful noise from the back of his throat.

"I think every man does it at some point. But, not to that extreme. I mean…I've never ran into the bathroom and aroused myself over another woman just so I could make love to my wife, but…there have been times I've thought about an actress or a model…or something…" Nervously, he finished off his tea and put the empty cup back down. Not on the coaster.

"Oh." She replied simply and he wondered what her reaction would be if he told her she was the star of every X-rated fantasy he had ever had since he met her. "Maybe I'm just not desirable enough. I mean, I feel like I'm not sexy at all after these past couple of days."

On a dime, Brock's mood changed from horny lecher to sympathetic. No woman should ever feel that way, especially Misty. "Hey, hey, don't feel that way. You're…beautiful." He almost whispered the last word and she smiled.

"Thank you, Brock. But sometimes being beautiful isn't enough. Maybe sometimes being me isn't enough." She stood up from the table and Brock did the same. He pulled her into his arms and closed her eyes, took in the scent of her hair and never wanted to let go.

"Hey, you're more than enough for him." His voice sounded deep and sensual and it made her quiver with a strange delight. Just being in his embrace, having her hug him like this was strangely exciting to her. "Don't you ever feel like you're not beautiful or…sexy. Do you hear me?" He pulled back from her and she nodded.

Brock then leaned against the island in the kitchen. "So then what happened last night?"

"Well," She began, sitting back down at the kitchen table in his former chair. "we went to dinner at this little diner and he made a big deal out of the waiter being gay. It was totally embarrassing and we kind of got into another little fight, but then by the time we came back to the room, I had forgiven him and wanted to just spend the last night there making love to him and…he got really angry with me."

"How angry?"

"He screamed at me. Told me we had the rest of our lives to have sex and that it wasn't that important to him…or something along those lines." Misty knew she was blushing and her story seemed to be completely alien to Brock.

"Wow." He exclaimed, almost in disbelief. "Well, I maybe can understand the gay waiter thing, considering all that's happened with his parents, but he shouldn't have taken it out on you. And I just don't see how he can be in bed with you and not want--" He stopped, fearing he had already said too much.

"Want what?" Misty pressed on.

"Not want to…you know. I mean…you're his wife. I just…don't understand it. If any woman was in bed with me I'd want to…uh…before I was married. That's all." Brock finished his sentence quickly and then changed the subject. "Hey, listen, everything will be alright. And you know that I'm always here for you. Lucy is too if you ever want to talk to another female about it. I'm a guy, so, I'm probably not too good of a source of advice."

Smiling, she nodded. "Thanks, Brock." She stood on her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. He stiffened and a shock of lust rocketed through him, settling right into his loins.

"No problem." He managed.

"I better get back home. I've got to get dinner started before Ash gets home from his workout at the gym." She smiled and grabbed her purse and they exchanged a wave as she walked out of his front door.

What he wouldn't give to see her walk through that same door, everyday. Perhaps with a few of his kids along with her. Yes, that was another fantasy of his, but one that was virtually impossible. Who was he kidding, anyway? She was obviously head over heels in love with Ash Ketchum.

* * *

It was Tuesday afternoon when Brock's phone rang out from the living room. He picked it up, expecting it to be a call from work. He was planning to be called in at anytime, but instead there was a hesitant 'hello' from Ash.

"Hey…Ash." Brock said slowly, stuffing one hand into his pocket. Lucy was watching her soap operas, lazily eating rice cakes and diet coke. "What's up, man?"

"Eh, not much. Do you think we could hang out tonight?" He asked, nervously. "I kind of need some advice."

Advice about Misty, he presumed. "Uh, sure. I was planning on heading to the gym tonight for a workout around seven. How about we go there?" Brock asked, checking the time. It was three o'clock.

There was a pause at the other end of the phone and finally, Ash replied, unsurely. "Sure. The gym sounds great. How's about a little friendly competition around the track while we're at it?"

"You're on!" Brock agreed, arrogantly knowing he could beat Ash in any race. "I'm going to get started on an early dinner then. I'll meet you there at seven."

"K, thanks." Ash's voice sounded cheery. "Bye, Brocko."

"Bye." Then he hung up and Lucy looked back at him, just as her program went to commercial.

"Oh, Brock, I was hoping you were going to spend time with me tonight." Lucy batted her eyelashes at him and rested her chin on the back of the couch as she watched him make his way into the kitchen. "I was hoping we could make love again. In the shower. That was incredible!"

Grinning, he looked back at her. "I won't be gone long. I promise, baby." He walked towards her and kissed her briefly. "What do you want for dinner?"

Laughing, she smiled up at him and winked. "You."

* * *

The gym was surprisingly not as full as Brock thought it would be. Both him and Ash were regular members, but rarely did they ever go together. Once inside, they headed for the weight room.

Ash felt uneasy as soon as he stepped inside. The smell of sweat was obvious and several machines were already occupied by other men. Women were in there as well, but mostly opted for a run on a treadmill.

Brock picked up a pair of one hundred pounds weights and Ash did the same, but not with as much ease. He tried not to let it show.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Brock asked, sitting down on a bench. Ash followed and struggled to bring the weight up.

Hesitating, Ash sighed and let one of the weights fall to the padded floor. "It's about Misty."

His heart thumped in his chest. Of course it was going to be about Misty. He imagined she was still pretty angry with Ash for the honeymoon from hell and he probably needed advice on what to say to her.

"Well, it's not about Misty, particularly." He then said, with a shrug. "It's just about women in general. How do you satisfy a woman…sexually."

Laughing, Brock shook his head and Ash's face faltered.

"You really don't have any clue, do you?"

Shaking his head, Ash replied, embarrassed.

"Well, there's really no right or wrong way to do it." He said, standing up. "I've been with tons of women and every woman likes something different. You have to find out what Misty likes and what she doesn't like. It takes practice."

"And I have absolutely none." Ash replied standing up, but stopped when Brock pulled his shirt over his head. He stood before him in a white tank top that stood out against his naturally dark skin. Ash swallowed hard.

"Is that why you two didn't have sex on your honeymoon?" Brock asked with a grin.

Blinking, Ash shook his head and caught the tale end of Brock's question. He hated the places his mind was going right now. "Yea…yea. That's it."

"Did you seriously run off into the bathroom and…" He stopped and looked around. This really wasn't the thing he wanted to talk about to another man in front of a room full of men. "you know….while you were with Misty?"

He still didn't understand that part of it. Misty was the type of woman a man fantasized about. Perfect body. Pretty face. Gorgeous hair. She was not the type of woman that would ever fail to turn a man on, at least, in his opinion she wasn't.

And considering Ash was her newlywed husband, he assumed he felt the same way about her.

Finally, Ash admitted. "I know it was wrong. I shouldn't have done and I feel bad. I need to make it up to her tonight. That's why I wanted to come and talk to you." He looked at him in the tank top again and thought that his plan kind of backfired.

"She's pretty angry at you, man." He said, walking away from the weight area and over to the machines. "I think it made her feel pretty bad." The anger towards Ash for making Misty feel that way was still there, but now that he knew of Ash's anxiety's towards having sex, it was subsided just a little.

"Well, it'll get better." He promised his younger friend and then sat down at a weight machine. Ash felt his lips, they were suddenly dry and he found himself shaking, not being able to look away from Brock. When the hell did he get a body like that?

He was lean, not an ounce of fat on him. His arms were toned and muscular, but not overly done. He could see the outline of abs from underneath the cotton of his tank top and it took everything in him to look away.

Then, jealousy consumed him.

Brock was a better looking man than he ever was, or ever would be and it just wasn't fair. Then again, he was the one who married Misty and Brock didn't, so there must have been something attractive about him.

However, Brock got all the ladies back in high school and still got them even after he was married and clearly off the market.

Even now, the women at the treadmills were staring at him.

Ash decided to ignore his jealousy and he settled into a weight machine beside Brock and hated how he had to take a few hundred pounds off just so he could lift it up once.

An hour later, Ash complained of muscle cramps so they stopped and headed to the locker room. It was this part of the gym visiting that he hated most. Tons of men, a lot of them attractive and very well in shape were lined against the lockers.

Some even had the nerve to get completely naked and Ash found himself tuning out Brock as he spoke and just staring. Staring at Brock, staring at the other men. Then, Brock pulled off his tank top and threw it in his gym bag.

Ash's breath caught in his throat and his eyes grew wide.

"I better change. Lucy always complains to me if I smell bad after I come home." He laughed a little and slipped on a clean shirt over his sculpted torso. Ash clenched his fists and tried so hard to keep from reaching out and touching him. Feeling the hard, toned muscles and the smooth, hair-roughened flesh.

"Yea." He said, forcing a slight smile. "I…better get home to Misty…"

"Alright. I'll see you around then." He waved at him and Ash immediately dashed out of the locker room. He had disappeared so quickly, that Brock didn't even see him in the gym's corridors.

Once out to his car, Ash quickly dove in and gripped his hands on his steering wheel. He needed to get home fast, he needed to get home and make love to Misty now, even if he had to beg. There was nothing that he needed more right now than to feel a woman's touch.

* * *

It was nine-thirty by the time Ash had arrived home. Misty had ordered in a pizza and ate alone while watching primetime television. She supposed this is how it would be on most nights. Dinner alone in front of the television.

She wasn't sure why he had been so eager to join Brock at the gym, since normally he declined any voluntary physical exercise or exertion, but it was a pretty safe bet he had went to talk about what had happened on their honeymoon and to obtain some advice from Brock.

When he walked through the door, he didn't say a word instead, he plopped down on the couch, wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

Misty was still angry and hurt by what had happened, but she decided to let it go. After all, she knew going into this that Ash lacked any confidence whatsoever and she had to accept him for who he was.

She smiled and turned to him, pressing her lips against his and wrapping her arms around his neck. With great effort he lifted her up in his arms and grinned at her, faking his confidence.

His legs wobbled as he carried her up the stairs and his jealousy returned when he thought of how easily Brock could have done this. When he told Ash to carry her up the stairs to their bedroom, he didn't realize just how out of shape Ash was. Misty didn't weigh much, but she felt like a ton of bricks in his arms.

His muscles ached by the time he reached the bedroom and he dropped her onto the bed. Misty smiled and watched him as he crawled across the bed towards her. This was how it was supposed to be. The man being the predator. The man being the one who was doing the chasing, the begging, the pleading.

"You want it tonight, baby?" Ash kicked off his shoes and hovered above her.

Nodding, Misty closed her eyes as he began to kiss her neck again. It felt nice, it even made her shiver, but she still failed to feel the eroticism behind it. The sexual meaning to it all and she found it strange that she had felt it yesterday when she hugged Brock. Or when he touched her hand.

Ash moaned out and he pressed himself against her leg. He was aroused, but he wasn't quite looking at her. His eyes were shut and he bit his bottom lip as he rubbed himself a few times against her.

Slowly, Misty moved out from underneath him. "Why can't you look at me?"

Rubbing his hand on his crotch, Ash was surprised of how turned on he was thinking about just what he was thinking about. "Misty, I was. I mean, I was thinking about you…naked."

Scoffing, Misty stood up and crossed the room. "No you weren't! You wouldn't need to close your eyes and think about me naked if I'm right in front of you! You're such a jerk!" Then, she slammed the bathroom door and he heard the shower running.

Sighing, Ash sat on the edge of the bed and rested his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. He had hurt her feelings again and for his own selfish reasons. But he couldn't help it, when he was with a woman his mind kept drifting. Drifting to places it shouldn't go and yet there it was.

The water of the shower made the rhythmic sound against the tub and he thought twice about joining her. Something was the matter with him. He just wasn't aroused by her. He never really was. Even when they would mess around, he never found himself wanting it, despite what Brock had told him.

All the stories and things that he had heard from Brock just weren't true for him.

He decided to turn in early and pretend to be asleep before Misty got out of the shower.

* * *

She leaned against the cold tiles of the shower wall and sobbed. Misty hated this feeling. It had happened again. He was closing his eyes fantasizing about another woman and not even acknowledging that she had feelings. No, that wasn't important to him!

Then again, could she be overreacting? After all, Brock said he had done it a few times, but not to that extent. Was it natural? Was it even normal for a man to do that? And even if Ash did get aroused like that, did she really want her first time making love to be like that? Did she really want a man who wasn't attracted to her to take the one thing she could never get back?

No, she didn't want that. She wanted to made love to like she was the only woman in the world. To have a strong, confident man make her feel loved, wanted, and at ease.

Misty was fed up with this. She was fed up with Ash and all his games. Tomorrow, when he headed off to work, she would do a little snooping into his personal belongings. Yes, she knew it was wrong. After all, she had personal stuff hidden away where even she could find it anymore, but she wanted to find out what or who Ash was fantasizing about.

It was probably some nameless model in a magazine, but she wanted to see what they had that she didn't! Her anger overrode her moral value right now.

When she came out of the bathroom, Ash lay sleeping in bed. It only worsened her fury. How could he sleep when she was feeling like this? It wasn't fair that he was the wrong one and she was the one who's feelings were hurt. He always made her feel like he was the victim; as if she had done something wrong.

Misty climbed into bed and he failed to make a noise or stir from his sleep. Closing her eyes, she allowed her mind to drift and she was surprised to find herself thinking about Brock just before she fell asleep.


	5. A Heart Like Her's

Chapter 5

Brock wasn't sure why, but he found himself guiding his truck down a side road on his usual route to work. It wasn't normal for him to do this, but his favourite song had come on the radio and he had gotten off to work early, so he decided to kill a few minutes and take the long way.

He saw the old, familiar gray coat of Neal Dash from far away and as he approached him he could see he was hopelessly scrounging around in trash cans for left over food. He found a half eaten apple and examined it thoroughly, before discovering ants had gotten to it first and he tossed it aside.

Rolling down his window, Brock slowed his truck down and smiled. "Hey Neal."

The old man whirled around, surprised to see Brock and he smiled. In the early morning light he could see that he had a few cavities and he was in need of some serious dental work.

"Hey there, Son." He winked at him and approached his truck. "Headin' to work?"

"I got a few minutes. You hungry? I'll buy you breakfast."

The old man looked down and dug in his pockets. Nothing. No one had stopped to offer him anything to eat and he had seen at least a hundred cars pass through this alley. Slowly, he nodded. The shame washed over his old, tired face again and he climbed into the truck.

The strangest thing about Neal Dash was he had no smell. He had no foul odor at all and Brock assumed he showered on a regular basis at the shower. Not all homeless people were dirty or unkempt.

Looking at Neal, though, Brock suddenly found a new respect for his luxuries.

He brought him breakfast and even sat inside the McDonald's with him. Sure, he would have been late for work, but he was chief of staff and could pretty much do whatever he pleased. Brock brought himself a breakfast platter and he offered Neal a little extra, even though the old man modestly ordered an egg and sausage biscuit.

The old man devoured it like it was the greatest thing on earth and Brock watched him before digging into his own food. The man's hands were bony and cold, they shook as he brought the food to his mouth.

Suddenly, Brock felt selfish and he pushed his breakfast platter towards Neal. Looking up, the old man smiled, and tears welled in his eyes.

"You didn't have to do that." He told him, but gratefully dug his fork into the pancake and put it to his mouth. "God bless you." He smiled. "So, how's you and that…girl?"

"My wife?"

"No, the other one."

"Oh…her." He laughed and shook his head. "Her marriage has hit a rough patch already, but I think her and her husband will work through it."

Neal took a sip of his coffee. "That's bad news for you, ain't it?"

"It sucks." He agreed with a nod. "But I can't tell her that." Brock smiled and leaned back in his booth. "So, you need a ride to the shelter? I hear it's supposed to rain pretty heavy tonight."

Shaking his head, Neal waved his fork. "Nah, don't worry about it, boy. A little rain ain't never hurt nobody." He took another large bite of his pancake and then a sip of his coffee. "What you do for a livin'?"

"I'm a neurosurgeon." He said, checking his watch. He did have a nine o'clock surgery scheduled and it was already fast approaching eight-thirty. "How come you don't have a job?" He asked, hoping he didn't sound too contradictory. He honestly just wanted to know. Brock knew no one would _choose_ to be homeless.

The old man's blue eyes clouded over and he looked down, as if he was remembering a distance, faded memory. "The day they laid my wife and daughter in the ground was the day I lost my will to do anything. Didn't care about money, or a job then…I let myself go. Darn near grieved myself to death." He offered Brock a smile, but it was filled with a sadness.

"Did they ever catch the guy who killed them?"

"Oh, yea, but charges were dropped due to some nonsense. But you know, I forgive him for what he did. I ain't got no hard feelings towards anyone." He finished off his coffee and nodded his head. "That's the way God would want me to live out my life…"

This man was like a saint. He wasn't sure if he could handle the death of the woman he loved and his own child. He sure as hell probably wouldn't be able to forgive the idiot who caused it to happen.

He wanted a change of subject. "I better get going to work. Do you need a ride anywhere?"

Neal finished off his breakfast and shook his head. "No, don't you worry 'bout me. I'll probably stick around here for a while. Sometimes these workers in here let me have the leftover food at the end of the breakfast hours."

Before he left, Brock placed a wrinkled five dollars on the table. He wasn't sure why, but he really felt sorry for this man. It wasn't like him to be sympathetic towards anyone, but something about Neal really seemed genuine and he felt as if he owed him something for saving his life.

"God bless you." He said again and stuffed the five dollars in his pocket.

* * *

Misty was waiting, she was just waiting for the moment when Ash's car had disappeared out of the driveway. She figured Ash had hid his dirty magazines or any letters for any old girlfriends or flings around pretty well and she had a whole day of searching in front of her.

Then again, if and when she did find something, how would she confront him about it? Well, she was a housewife. And housewives find pretty interesting things when tiding up the home, so she could say she found it completely on accident.

First she started with the bedroom. Ash's sock drawer was clear. His underwear drawer was clean. And even though she figured she wouldn't find anything in his shirt drawer or pants drawer, she looked anyway.

Nothing.

Next, she tried the closet. Sure, some of her stuff was in there, too and it would be a stupid place to hide a Playboy, but it was possible. Still, nothing but shoes and dresses and some of Ash's dress shirts along with his tuxedo.

Then, an idea struck her. Of course, under the mattress. She could have saved a lot of time if she had just looked under there in the first place. The queen sized bed was tough to lift, but she did and her suspicions were confirmed.

There, laying sandwiched between the mattresses and the box springs was a playboy. A blond girl with intense blue eyes was on the cover, looking at the camera with a seductive look with nothing but a skimpy bikini on.

Misty rolled her eyes and pulled it out. It was outdated by five years and it was no doubt it was one of Brock's old magazines. She actually thought she had seen the same cover in Brock's backpack at school just before graduation and he must have handed it down to Ash.

She flipped to first page. Naked woman with long black hair. A busty redhead on the next. An ad for men's cologne. And then another blond stood against a wall, licking her lips in a seductive gesture.

This was absolutely degrading and disgusting and what the hell did these women have that she didn't? Fake breasts and airbrushed bodies? She threw the magazine down on the bed for later discussion with Ash when another magazine fell out of the middle.

Misty wasn't sure what it was at first, but when she picked it up she realized it was a Playgirl. A playgirl, not a playboy. She didn't know which one was worse!

She looked at the top right corner to find the date, and she knew it had to be purchased within the last seven months because it was not outdated. She dropped it back on the bed, then picked it up again and flipped through it, just to confirm what she already knew.

Page after page, there was naked men. All built very nicely, and exposed everything. There was erotic pictures of guys kissing, some just posing completely nude, and others were ads of gay dating sites.

Nausea swept over her. Was that magazine really Ash's? Did he try to disguise it with a playboy magazine so that incase she did find it she wouldn't find what he was really hiding? She felt light-headed from shock.

Ash wasn't gay. This had to be someone else's or had somehow gotten mixed up with it. She suddenly wished she had been snooping around. She would have much rather thought he was looking at a playboy than at a gay magazine.

Misty had to get out of the house, she had to talk to someone. She glanced at the bedroom clock. It was just after three o'clock, Brock should be home soon if not already…but Lucy was probably there.

Did she really want to discuss this embarrassing discovery in front of another female? Sure, Lucy had been her friend since college, but to admit your newlywed husband might be gay was not very flattering. It was a nightmare.

Picking up her phone, she called Brock's house and Lucy was the one who answered.

"Hello, Harrison residence. This is Lucy Harrison." She twirled her hair on her finger.

"Hey, Lucy, it's Misty."

"Oh! Misty!" Her tone changed from professional to light-hearted. "You sound upset. Everything alright?"

Well, so much for keeping this from her. Sighing, Misty explained to her that she needed to talk to Brock as soon as possible. "Is he home?" She asked, hoping that he was.

Lucy made a small sound from the back of her throat as she peered out the window, seeing his pickup truck just pulling into the driveway. "He just got here. Should I tell him you're on your way?"

"Yes. If it's alright. I just…have to talk to someone."

"Anytime, Girl." Lucy said with a smile and hung up.

Misty tucked both magazines into her purse as if they were evidence of some vial crime. Then, she went out to her car and drove as fast as she could to Brock's house. It was a ten minute drive, but Misty made it in five.

When she knocked, Brock was the one who answered. "Hey there." He greeted her leaning against the door frame.

"Hey…" She said, as he offered her inside and she brushed past him. "Do you mind if I stay for dinner? This might be a little hard for me to talk about…"

Lucy and Brock exchanged a glance of worry and confusion.

"Sure. You know you don't have to ask. You're always welcome here." He said, placing his hand on her back. She tensed up and felt that strange feeling of attraction and erotic sexual tension.

Lucy watched from her seat on the barstool at the island in their kitchen.

"I'm making chicken parmesan." Brock informed her with a smile. "I know you used to like that."

"Still do." She said with a smile, taking an almost timid seat beside Lucy.

"So, what's bothering you?" He asked, after putting the chicken in the oven. He handed her a glass of iced tea and she took a sip to quench her dry mouth. "Is it about Ash?"

Nodding, Misty reached for her purse and pulled out the playboy. "I found this under our mattress."

Brock grinned and raised an eyebrow, taking a long, appreciative look at the blond woman on the cover. "Ah, yes. I remember this. I gave this to him back in high school right before I went off to college. I can't believe he still has it."

"That's not really what's bothering me." Misty confessed and Lucy looked over at her, while Brock flipped to the first, second and then third page. "In fact, I wish that's all I would have found."

"He had more?" He asked, never looking up from the magazine until Misty snatched it away from him. Lucy gave him an annoyed look and he simply grinned, but his grin faded when another magazine fell out onto the counter.

"He was using it to hide that!"

"Wow!" Lucy exclaimed, snatching up the gay magazine. "These men are gorgeous!"

Misty just sighed and rested her chin on her hand. "They're also gay. I mean, what is he doing with a gay porn magazine?"

"Can't say for sure." Brock stated truthfully with a shrug. "The only thing I can tell you to do is to talk to him about it. I knew a buddy in college who kept playgirls for practicing art."

"Ash isn't exactly an artist…" Lucy pointed out, turning the page of the magazine. Brock looked over at her and rolled his eyes. She could at least try to be a little more sympathetic towards Misty. He could see the worry, hurt, and anger in her eyes.

"Lucy, honey…" Brock spoke up and reached into his back pocket. "Can you run to the store for me and pick up some more cheese? I forgot to on my way home." He handed her his check card and she took it.

"Alright. Mind if I pick up some other things?" She asked, grabbing her purse and slipping on her stilettos.

"Knock yourself out…" He told her, and watched her as she exited the kitchen. Neither one of them spoke until they heard the front door close.

"I'm sorry about her. She can be a little…insensitive." He apologized for his wife constantly, but Misty just shook her head.

"It's fine." Her voice quivered, and she leaned forever on her elbows as she felt her emotions overtake her. "Brock, I'm so confused. I don't even know what to do. I don't even feel like a woman anymore…I just…"

He stood up from his chair when she started to sob and he outstretched his arms. He pulled her into a hug and stroked the back of her hair, lovingly. No one should ever make anyone feel like this. First, she had felt unattractive, now he had taken the feel of her femininity away. No woman should ever had to suffer that loss.

"Hey, listen to me…" He pulled back from her and she looked up at him, wiping a tear away from her eye. "You are no less of a woman than anyone else. You're gorgeous and I'll be damned if I let Ash, or anyone else make you feel any less than that." His hand brushed her cheek and she closed her eyes.

"I don't feel beautiful. I've never felt that way…" She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He was very sexy and mysterious. She had always thought he was, but he was very unapproachable at school. He was the kind of guy who walked down the hall and all the girls just stopped and stared.

A guy like him would have never went for her. After all, she wasn't popular or pretty, and the only reason he did talk to her is because they were forced to be lab partners, and he had made friends with Ash while they were on the football team together.

"Maybe it's time to change that." He whispered softly and leaned down to kiss her. His lips were on hers before she even knew what was happening, and he pushed her against the counter, deepening the kiss with more force.

Her lips parted immediately and she moaned out at the sensation of his tongue against her own. He was talented at this, unlike Ash. She could feel herself becoming reluctantly aroused and she didn't want to stop.

But she had to. She was a married woman and she was kissing a married man. A very attractive married man who's hands were stealthily making their way up her skirt. His skin felt rough, but gentle. Demanding, yet inviting.

No wonder Lucy was addicted to sex.

She groaned, forcing herself to stop enjoying this wonderful sensation. When she looked back at him, she could see the lust in his eyes, the way his mouth hung slightly open. Never in her entire life had she ever been kissed like that.

"Brock…"

"I'm sorry…" He apologized, immediately, fearing she was angry with him. "Wow…" Leaning against the counter, he tried to catch his breath and he looked over at her. He could see it in her eyes, they both wanted it again and she really didn't want him to stop.

But they were both married, even if it wasn't happily ever after.

"That can't happen again." Misty told him, looking away, twisting uncomfortably.

"I know it can't." He rested he hands on the counter and sighed, calming himself down. They were quiet and stuck in a painfully awkward situation until Lucy came home. Bags of groceries in her hands, she walked in and smiled.

"Dinner ready yet?" She asked, eyeing the magazine that still sat on the kitchen island.

Misty picked it up and put it back in her purse. She didn't want to look at it. It was a cruel reminder that she just had to confront Ash about it later.

* * *

To say the least, Misty felt bad about what she did. She had kissed a married man, and not just any married man. A man who was married to her best friend. On top of all that, she was married herself. Perhaps if something was going on with Ash, she deserved it.

Karma came in strange ways.

She sat in her living room, knowing Ash would show up at any moment and she prepared herself for the imminent fight that was going to happen, but she promised herself she wouldn't be too hard on Ash.

After all, she had a little secret of her own now and she was planning on keeping it.

Then, she smiled. She thought about when he kissed her, the feeling of his fingertips on her skin and where he would have touched her if she hadn't stopped him. Closing her eyes, she tried to imagine that feeling again and it gave her goose bumps.

Her fantasy was short-lived however and when the front door opened she got her mind out of the fog it was in. Ash walked into the living room and he saw Misty sitting on the white leather couch that his mother had given them as a housewarming gift.

He found it odd she was not watching television and she didn't even have a light on, besides the small one that rested on the top of the entertainment center, which they only used as a night light.

"Hey, Misty, what are you sitting in the dark for?" Ash questioned, curiously.

"Ash, sit down. We need to talk about something." She set her glass of water on the coffee table in front of her and reached for her purse. His heart was racing, something wasn't right.

"O-Ok." He stammered, reluctantly. He wanted to jump up and run out, but he knew she wouldn't let him get away with that. After all, she had chased him around for years until he bought her a new bike after destroying it by parking it in front of a school bus.

Misty didn't just let things go so easily.

"What's this?" She pulled out the playboy magazine, still concealing what she was really asking him about inside. Ash started to sweat and he stood up, trying to snatch it from her, but she hid it behind her back. "Answer the question."

"It's a playboy." He said, cotton-mouthed. "It's old. It's Brock's from way back in the day."

"Oh really?" Misty stood up, still keeping the magazine out of reach and she stood over towards the light more, then flipped open the magazine. Ash's face turned pale. "Is this year's edition of--" She stopped and flipped it over the read the cover. " 'Playgirl' Brock's as well?"

She shuddered at the thought of it.

"Well, no…but I can explain."

"You better."

Ash sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Look, Misty, I have to be honest with you. I'm not exactly large down there." He blew his breath and looked away from her, embarrassed.

"I knew that when I married you." She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for him to continue. "What does that have to do with this?"

"I'm getting there." He stalled for a moment and rubbed his forehead. "So, sometimes I get these magazines to compare myself. See, that's why I was hiding it in the playboy. I get excited when I look at those women and then I look at myself and the guys in those magazines to see if I'm as big as they are…it's a guy thing, Misty. You wouldn't understand."

Misty walked over to the trashcan and stuffed both of the magazines inside. "Maybe I don't. But I'm sure Brock would understand. I'll call him and ask him if he does it as well…" She picked up her cell phone, but Ash grabbed her wrist.

"Damn it, Misty, why do you always run to him about everything?" He scowled at her, squeezed her wrist harder before letting go and ruffling his hair, nervously.

"Well, you said it was a guy thing. So, wouldn't Brock do it as well? He's a guy…"

"Brock's a different kind of guy." He assured her. "He's been with tons of woman. Never had any complaints about his size or his performance. He's loaded with confidence…and me, well, I'm a virgin. I have no experience whatsoever." He buried his face in his hands and Misty's face softened.

So, he was telling the truth? Suddenly, she felt extremely guilty about kissing Brock earlier. "Ash, I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions."

"It's fine. I should have just been honest with you about it sooner." He looked at her in the dim light and kissed her softly. It was a tender, gentle, loving gesture, but it failed to make her feel close to him. When he kissed her with those sweet, caring kisses, all she could think about was the way Brock had kissed her with demanding dominance.

The way she had felt the heat spread throughout her body and the area between her legs tingled at the sensation of his touch and the taste of him.

Eventually Ash pulled away and smiled. "We should wait a while before we have sex. We need more time finding out what you do and don't like." He paused for a moment. "I talked to Brock about some things and he gave me some advice."

How ironic that he would mention Brock just as she was thinking about him. How ironic that he would give Ash tips on how to satisfy her sexually. Without hesitation, she agreed. Tonight was not the night to make love to her husband, especially when she had another man on her mind.


	6. Who's Kissing You Now?

Chapter 6

Tracy Sketchit unpacked his boxes in his new apartment. He was tired of Pine Valley. He was tired of his job at _Buenos Dias_ and he wanted to start over in Landview, just a short hour-long drive over Mount Moon.

Here, he would start out fresh here, make new friends and perhaps even find love. Or rekindle an old flame with a certain someone, but from what he had already seen, that wasn't going to be very possible.

After unpacking, he decided to hit the gym. It was a nice way to top off the week and it was a warm Saturday night. A perfect night to look around the new gym in town and get some weight lifting in.

Tracy arrived just after seven-thirty. It was the perfect time to go, since most people were at home with family and dinner. A few men were in the weight room and he walked in, a towel hung around his neck and he took an appreciative glance.

Then, he noticed Brock Harrison jogging on a treadmill. Shirtless. He was very nicely built and the sweat gave a sheen to his skin. Tracy joined him in a slow-paced walk on the machine beside him and looked ahead, smiling.

"Hey there. Come here often?"

"All the time." Brock replied, never changing his pace or looking over. Tracy fastened his slow walk to a faster one.

"I just moved here from Pine Valley." He smiled over at him and his eyes scanned down his torso, to his legs which were mostly covered by oversized basketball shorts. God, he hoped he was gay. "You from around here?"

"Pewter City." Brock replied, noticing the longing stare he was giving him. Why did this always happen to him? None of the women ever flirted with him at the gym, partially because the gay guys flocked to him.

"Ah, the rock-hard city." Tracy winked and made a low sound at the back of his throat. "It shows."

He had been in this situation before and he knew just how to get out of it without being mean or ride. "So, you married?" He asked, cleverly and Tracy shook his head.

"Nope. Just got out of a relationship." He slowed down his machine and he saw Brock did the same. His heart fluttered. "What about you?"

Brock held up is hand. They were dark, strong and big. Tracy licked his lips and then he noticed the gold wedding band. Damn it! He was straight!

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

"It's cool, man. Don't worry about it." He said, offering him a smile, which made Tracy's heart flutter even more.

_What a waste!_ Tracy thought, feeling his disappointment. "So, how long you been married to the lucky lady?"

"Four years." Brock sat down on a bench and wiped the sweat off his forehead. Tracy loved the way a man looked after a long, hard workout, but perhaps Brock had beaten them all. He had already tried to persuade a straight guy onto him, but it always ended up in an embarrassing failure. So he decided to save himself the grief this time.

"Wow. That's a long time." Tracy cleared his throat and joined him on the bench. "I've never had a relationship last longer than six months. Most guys are promiscuous, but I'm looking for a long-lasting relationship."

Standing up, Brock peered up at the clock. He had to get home to Lucy and have a late dinner with her. "Well, hey," He extended his arm for a handshake. "hope you find it here in Landview."

Tracy smiled and gripped his hand, loving the firm, strong grip, the calloused palms, the rough hair on the back of it. He was mesmerized by him and he definitely hoped that they met up here again. Sure, there was no chance of a romantic relationship since he oozed masculinity and was obviously not interested in men, but he was very nice to look at. "Thanks." He finally said.

Brock waved at him and headed through the exit of the weight room, leaving Tracy behind, just staring. It was a cruel reminder of how much he wanted a man in his life, how much he needed that connection.

But could he ever really get over his old flame? Could he ever really get over his old college boyfriend who he was still in love with? And the question burned through his mind every night when he laid down to sleep.

Did he still feel anything for Tracy?

* * *

The park was empty, almost eerily desolate and Misty wondered for the fifth time why she had chosen to come out here after dark. It wasn't necessarily a dangerous place to be, but it was still too quiet and lonely.

Of course that's what she wanted right now. To be alone and quiet. She just wanted away from Ash, his lack of attraction towards her made her feel terrible and uneasy. It had gotten to the point where it depressed her.

Ash would rather sit in front of the television and watch primetime dramas while eating instant ramen rather than be with her. She got out of her car and felt the cool, summer breeze comb through her hair. Again she thought this was crazy and she settled on a park bench.

How did she end up like this? Marriage was supposed to be happy, full of passion and love for the rest of both of their lives. She was no longer supposed to be a virgin and she longed to be taken and tainted by a man. But was that man Ash Ketchum.

Ever since she had kissed Brock, she wasn't so sure. She found herself thinking about him when she should have been thinking about Ash. When Ash gave her the usual goodbye kiss in the mornings, she found herself thinking about Brock.

She sat there for almost an hour before she saw a familiar, dark-blue truck, covered in splattered mud around the tired and the bottom, pull up and she felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness when she saw who stepped out.

Brock slammed the truck door and smiled over at her from underneath the bright, park lights. His face was shadowed, accentuating his handsome features and she stood up, almost wondering if this was some kind of dream.

"Hey, Brock…"

"Hey…" He said, softly, looking around in confusion. "What are you doing here in Landview park so late? Are you waiting for Ash?"

Misty shook her head and looked down at her feet. "No. I just wanted to get away from the house and had nowhere to really go. So, I just came here." The scent of his cologne drifted from him as he walked towards her, his heavy footsteps making a distinctive sound on the gravel. But all she could hear was his voice. That soft, velvety voice of his. And she looked away.

She hated being shy.

"I was on my way back from the gym and I recognized your car. I figured I'd come by and see what's the matter." Brock paused for a moment and tried to decide rather he wanted to say something or not. "Since, I know you and Ash have been having problems…adjusting."

Nodding, she agreed. "We didn't really have a fight this time. I don't think I have the energy to fight with him anymore. But I was hoping we could spend some time together, you know, and he'd rather just sit in front of the television and eat rather than spend any time with me."

Jealousy arose within him. Ash had her, anytime he wanted her and he was taking it for granted. One day, he was really going to regret that decision. He was really going to regret making Misty feel undesirable and less than what she really was.

"I thought you said you were going to let it happen naturally." He reminded her, questioningly.

"I am." She replied, blushing. "But I thought if we actually paid attention to each other it would happen. I want something spontaneous and passionate. Not planned and routine. Do you know what I mean?" She looked up at him, clearly embarrassed by her confession.

"I know exactly what you mean." He said, looking down into her eyes. The way the moonlight reflected off her skin, the way the lights reflected off her eyes, it mesmerized him. He noticed the pink tinge to her cheeks, all over her body. "Can I ask you something?"

She nodded.

"Have you thought about when I kissed you?" Without much thinking, he laced his fingers with hers and she looked down at their hands, then up to his gaze. Should she lie and tell him no? Or should she tell him the truth?

"All the time." Misty replied, almost in a hushed whisper as if someone was watching them, lurking in the shadows. She knew no one was around except him, but she just didn't feel right saying it out loud.

His other hand was on her leg, barely covered by a short black skirt that was cut well above her knee. "I do, too. Every time I make love to Lucy I--"

"What?" She asked, out of sheer curiosity. Never had heart been racing so fast.

"I think about kissing you. Doing more than just kissing you." He confessed, almost unsure if he should tell her about his secret fantasies. She placed her hands on his chest and looked up at him.

She should have anticipated what was to come next from the heat which burned in the depths of his eyes, and the husky note which had deepened his voice into rich, dark velvet. But she thought might restrain himself due to the fact they were both married. However, that didn't seem to matter to him.

"Brock--" She whispered, but he pulled her into his arms and roughly, brutally began to kiss her. "Brock, no."

This was wrong. She knew it was wrong for lots of reasons-- so why was she allowing herself to swept away by the power of his kiss. "Stop it." She beseeched in a whispered against the softness of his lips, but it was a hopeless plea, and they both knew it. "Stop it, Brock."

"Make me," he whispered back, following his words with a provocative lick at the roof of her mouth, and she swayed in his arms, lacing her fingers into the thick, dark locks of his hair. "Go on, make me."

Misty stared into his eyes, still feeling the taste of him on her the tip of her tongue. She wanted more, but not in the parking lot. They could be seen too easily. What would happen if one of Lucy's modeling friends, or Ash's old college buddies were to drive by and see her making out with Brock?

Or perhaps they would be doing more.

He sensed her hesitation and his hands glided over her shoulders as he scanned the field of the park. There was a dimly lit gazebo a few yards outward, hidden from the main road by a few trees. He smirked and pulled her along.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere a little more private." He replied smoothly. His and was large and it wrapped around her entire wrist. She knew he was too strong to pull away from him, but did she really want to pull away from him? She knew she should have wanted to-- but she didn't.

Brock helped her up the couple of stairs and before she even knew what was happening he was kissing her again, this time, deliberately splaying his hand over her rear and pushing her right against him. He circled his hips against her in a blatantly provocative way, letting her feel the hard, butting ridge of his desire.

She felt him and jerked with a spasm of shock. Misty had an idea of what male arousal was like, but this wasn't quite what she was expecting. She had imagined it much smaller and not as daunting, but she could feel him pulsating against her through the rough denim of his jeans.

"Brock…" Misty said weakly, as his lips continued their relentless onslaught, overloading her senses until she could barely think at all, let alone think straight.

"What?" Moving his hand from her bottom, he allowed his fingers to trickle with agonizing slowness up towards her breasts and he heard her long sigh of surrender as he felt her body melt against him.

"What about Lucy? And Ash?" She had already unbuttoned the top of his shirt, her fingers gliding over the hard muscles of his shoulders and towards his back. He closed his eyes and groaned at the sensation.

"I'm not worried about Lucy right now." He spoke honestly, feeling only slightly guilty for saying it. "And I know you're not thinking about Ash right now." He leaned in and kissed her neck, then her shoulders as he slowly slid the straps of her tank top down. "You're loving the way I'm kissing you."

He pulled up her skirt. "And touching you."

Misty let her head fall back and that ache between her thighs only intensified. Her breathing became rapid and she saw him smile up at her after kissing both of her now bare shoulders.

"I know you are. And I also know you want to know what it feels like to be loved by a real man." He pressed his lips against hers, teasing her lips with his tongue and even though she begged for him to taste her, he didn't. "One who's not afraid to please you. To make you scream his name as loud as you can."

She felt him allow his hand to go further up her skirt and as bad as she wanted to protest, she couldn't. Everything just felt so good and so natural. She stared at him as he felt the honey-sweet wetness on her panties and he yearned to feel the heat of her.

The mere fact that this was forbidden was turning him on even more.

"That's what you want, isn't it?" He asked, pushing her against the back of the gazebo and moving his fingers in a circular motion against her. She propped one foot on the wall and instinctively spread her legs more. "Oh, _yes_! That is what you want. You want me to show you how good I can make you feel!"

He kissed her again, this time tasting her and giving her what she wanted, and tangled his fingers in her long, red hair. He rocked against her again and her hand reached out to the incredibly powerful, and very painful bulge in his jeans.

"Brock, please…" She stared up at him, her eyes cloudy, her mind in a daze. And he hadn't even started yet. Misty really had no idea what she was asking for and he wondered if she could handle it. He highly doubted she could, but he wanted to show her what she had been missing out on.

He gave a low laugh of passion and power. She was like putty in his hands. "What?" Whispering against her ear, he smirked and pulled his hand from under skirt and pulled her top down further. She had a gorgeous body, but why did she have to be wearing a bra tonight of all nights?

Still, he wasn't complaining and soon she was just standing in front of him, pressed against the wall, her face flushed in nothing but a short skirt, stiletto heels and a pink bra. "W-what's the matter?"

"Nothing, you're just so…beautiful." Brushing a lock of hair back from her face, he kissed her again. It wasn't the most romantic of gestures, but he wasn't worried about being romantic right now. After all, he wasn't even supposed to be doing this.

His arms encircled her back and he snapped her bra open, then threw it to the floor of the gazebo. Misty covered herself instinctively with her arms and her face almost seemed sunburned with embarrassment.

Brock pulled her arms away, groaning in frustration. "Don't be shy. Let me see…" He looked down. "You're breasts are beautiful." He breathed, almost inaudibly and he kissed along her clavicle, over to her shoulders and then finally to her breasts.

Her eyes flew open and it awakened her from her hazed state of mind when she felt his wonderful tongue and the warm wetness of his mouth envelope the peak of her breasts. She threw her head back, knocking it against the wall of the gazebo and she tried not to cry out, in fear that someone would hear her.

"_Oh!_" She squealed with innocent pleasure as she felt his hands go underneath her skirt, glide across her panties and then he pulled them aside and her legs started to shake. He moved from one breast to the other and did the same as he slowly inserted his finger into her.

She yelped in pain, but he didn't stop. Instead, he rubbed his finger along her swollen, wet opening and flicked his tongue across the sensitive skin of her breasts. A wave of shocking pleasure rocketed through her body and an intense feeling of something she couldn't even describe began over taking her.

Misty felt him lick, suck and bite them until she was shaking in his arms, her feet sliding as she tried to keep her balance. "_Oh!_ Don't stop, Brock._ Please! _Don't stop!" She demanded him and he slid his finger further into her tight entrance until he felt her barrier.

She winced in pain and looked down at him, once again realizing her breasts were exposed to him, and he was kissing them. "Keep going." She begged, still not able to catch her breath. She wanted him to take her, take away that remorseless aching between her legs.

He kissed her breasts, and suckled onto one of them, kneading the other with his free hand and slid his finger in and out of her with his other in short, quick repetitive motions.

Brock could feel her becoming tighter, wetter, and more responsive. "Come for me!" He demanded breathlessly in her ear, feeling as if he might lose control himself. His arousal was aching and the way she was crying out like that was only making it worse. "Say my name!"

"_Yes! Yes! Yes!_" She cried out as she felt the pressure build inside of her. She had no idea what he was doing to her, but she knew she didn't want him to stop. Ever. "_Brock!_ Yes! Don't…stop." She managed weakly. Her fingers seemed to have a mind of their own as they moved possessively over his broad back and wantonly caressed the warm flesh through his silken shirt.

Then finally, it happened. She fell weakly against the wall, her legs stiffened and she threw her head back, still feeling him move in and out of her slowly, careful not to hurt her again. Her groaned at the sounds she was making and he reveled in the feeling of her sweet, innocence as it surrounded his fingers. He let his hand rest there, feeling her pulse beneath it as she rode out the last remnants of her pleasure.

"Oh my God…" Misty looked over at him as he stood up straight, a satisfied grin on his face. He looked devilishly handsome and arrogantly cocky and for some reason, that was attractive to her right now. "What just happened?"

"You just had your very first orgasm." He laughed and kissed her hand.

Misty readjusted her clothes, but Brock could still smell the sweet, poignant scent of her arousal. His was still visually obvious.

"Brock, we should--"

"Yea, we should get home." Brock nodded and sighed, looking up at the stars, then past the trees that concealed their love affair so well from the rest of the world, to their parked cars in the dark lot. "Lucy's waiting on me."

Nodding, Misty followed him to the parking lot and he didn't even try to touch her. It was such a contrast from what had happened back inside the gazebo. Was it just a moment of passion that he now regretted? Did this even count as cheating?

Well, in her book, it did. She had cheated on Ash almost a week ago when she had merely kissed him, but now, she had definitely crossed the lines.

Brock leaned his elbow against his truck and looked over at her as she stood with her back pressed against the driver's door of her Honda. He still wore that same smile, so he must have not felt too guilty about what just happened.

She could still feel the aftermath of it, rippling through her body. "Thank you for…" She looked out across the field to the gazebo. "that."

He smiled, and leaned over, kissing her briefly on the lips and causing her heart to flutter in her chest. "It was my pleasure. Anytime." He winked and grinned before opening his truck door.

For some reason, parting with him made her want to cry. She had left Brock plenty of times on a friendly goodbye, but seeing him right now, stepping into his truck only to drive away -drive away back to Lucy- it broke her heart.

Her voice shook when she spoke, but she managed a smile. "Goodnight Brock."

"Goodnight Misty."

She watched him climb into his truck and fearlessly tear out of the parking lot and she watched until his taillights disappeared over a hill in the horizon. She got into her car and sat there for a moment, replaying those feelings in her mind.

Tonight, Brock had shown her what it's like to be loved by a real man. He had kissed her like he loved her, held her like he cared about her and touched her like he wanted her. Then, he just goes back home. Back to Lucy.

It finally struck her, a bitter-sweet victory. Tears streamed down her face and she wiped them away with her hands. Had he used her? Had he really just used her for an ego boost? Was she just another girl on his list of many?

Almost angrily, she started up her car and drove away, down the same street she watched Brock disappear to just a few moments before.


	7. You Got The Wrong Man

Chapter 7

Ash jumped upright and clicked off the television in almost a hurried frenzy when he heard the front door open. Misty walked through the foyer and into the living room. Ash noticed she looked preoccupied.

"Hey, babe." He stood up from the couch and smiled at her. "Where did you head off to?"

Misty stopped and put her purse down on the coffee table, before settling down in the recliner. "Uh…I…went to…Lucy's." She wasn't exactly great at thinking quick on her feet, but that seemed like a pretty believable lie.

"Oh." He said, and Misty hoped he wouldn't pry. "For what?"

But he usually did and this time was no exception. "Girl stuff." She replied, trying not to sound too awkward.

Ash laughed. "Not my thing."

Misty stood up and walked into the kitchen, Ash followed her. "Hey, what do you say we call it an early night, hm?" He wrapped his arms around her waist and she hoped to God he wouldn't smell Brock's cologne all over her. "Hey, are you wearing men's cologne?"

"Uh…no." She pulled away from him, almost forcefully and laughed nervously. "I was at Lucy's. I mean, it just smells like their house. You know how Brock practically bathes in his cologne."

"Oh, yea." He laughed and followed her over to the fridge where she took a sip of water. "So, what do you say?" He pressed himself against her, and she felt the hardness of his arousal - even though it paled in comparisons to Brock's- against her rear.

"Oh, Ash, I don't know. I'm really tired." Misty was surprised to see him like this since she was convinced their was no sexual attraction between them. But maybe there was. Even so, nothing could compare to what she felt with Brock tonight.

"Tired?" Ash crossed his arms and regarded her. "You want to talk about tired? I should be the one who's tired! I worked all day!"

Misty turned around to face him. Something in his eyes told her it wasn't her who he wanted. He didn't have that same, indescribable look in his eyes like Brock had when he was holding her in his arms, in the shadowed, secluded gazebo.

She found herself wanting to rewind time, relive that moment again. Even if she did have to watch him drive back home to Lucy.

"I'm going to bed, Ash." She said, feeling guilty now that she was the one who had no desire to make love to her husband because her mind was somewhere else, with someone else. She climbed the stairs to her bedroom and laid back on the bed, knowing Ash would probably be angry with her.

After all, she had been waiting for this from him ever since they got married - before that, even- and now, she didn't want it at all. Misty plopped down on her side of the bed and the creak of the mattress made the sickening thought of that magazine she had found enter her head.

Somehow, Ash's excuse seemed made-up and untrue. Now that she thought about it, when she had walked into the house tonight he seemed to be acting jumpy. Frustrated, she sank her head into her pillow and was determined to get some sleep.

* * *

Landview mall wasn't usually busy on Monday nights, and tonight was no exception. For some reason, Misty had agreed to go shopping with Lucy on what little money she had, while Lucy brought along Brock's credit cards and some cash.

Lucy slurped the last of her iced coffee and threw away the plastic cup into a trash can. "So," She said as they walked by a flashy store with loud music. "how do you like married life?"

Misty looked up at her and she almost felt jealous of how Lucy seemed to flawlessly beautiful. It would take Misty hours to get her hair that straight, her make up was hardly ever applied perfectly and she wasn't as thin, or tall or…

She had to stop doing this to herself. Of course Brock wasn't going to leave Lucy for her, it was obvious who was the prettier one. At least in her eyes. Besides, he loved Lucy she knew that, even after what had happened on Saturday night.

"It's alright, I guess." Misty replied, not making eye contact with Lucy. Not because she was lying, but because she couldn't stop thinking about what it would feel like to have her husband make love to _her_, instead of Lucy.

"That doesn't sound like a newlywed bride to me." Lucy giggled, and grabbed her by the arm. "Let's go in here. They have the hottest clothes."

Loud hip-hop music played and laser lights flashed on the hardwood floor as Lucy dragged her through the maze of different display stands of clothes. Misty sifted through the clearance rack while Lucy sifted through the latest arrivals.

"Then tell me," Misty said, referring back to their conversation they had before she was drug into the store. "what's a newlywed bride supposed to sound like?"

Giggling, Lucy picked out a pair of jeans with a very tiny waist. Misty quickly put away her size six jeans, as if she was ashamed. "Well, when Brock and I got married we had sex constantly." She folded the jeans over her arm and picked up a strapless tank top that was gold and shiny. "We still do!"

Misty looked at the clothes rack again.

"He is the best lover in the world!" Lucy bragged and giggled again, catching sight of a pair of stiletto boots by the wall. "He loves these on me! I have a pair of exactly like this. You should buy these and wear them for Ash. That will turn him on!"

Misty flipped over the price tag. They were almost two hundred dollars. Not a bad price if you had Brock's kind of money, but for her, it was too much. "I don't think anything I wear is going to turn him on, Lucy." She admitted truthfully.

"Aw, don't say that!" She mockingly scolded her. "You're beautiful! Well, Let me pay for this stuff and we'll head home. Brock's probably going to be hungry when he gets home." She checked her watch. It was almost eight o'clock. He had probably been home.

Lucy picked up a pair of earrings at the last minute and paid an outrageous price before leaving the store with six bags. "So, Misty, can I ask you a personal question?" She asked, when they got out into the parking lot.

Uh oh. She knew the moment would come on the shopping trip. The girl talk moment. The one where one girl asks another about extremely embarrassing questions and somehow one would always feel like they had to answer.

"Uhm, sure." Misty replied as they approached Brock's Ferrari that Lucy had stolen the keys to.

"Has Ash ever…" She smiled and clicked the unlock button. "you know…given you an orgasm?"

Misty hung back a little as Lucy loaded her bags into the rather spacious trunk. "Well, of course…of course he has." She lied, and laughed nervously. At least this time she knew what an orgasm was and what it felt like. Normally, she was left in the dark about things like this.

Lucy shut the trunk and smiled. "Was it good? Brock can sometimes give me five or six. I can't get enough of him sometimes! Do you feel that way about Ash? I mean…even though you two haven't gone that far yet…"

Adjusting in her seat, Misty looked out the window. No, she didn't feel that way about Ash. Not at all. But she did feel that way about Brock. "Of course. I do." She leaned back into her seat and Lucy was quiet as she drove along the interstate.

Then, she finally asked.

"Do you think Brock's always been faithful to you?" She couldn't help it. Lucy was her friend and she felt guilty about letting herself get swept away by his kisses and his charm. It should have never went that far. Still, she would _never _confess what happened.

"Of course he's faithful to me!" She smiled. "Brock is like a little puppy dog. He's always so loyal and completely head-over-heels in love with me!"

* * *

The sun was just starting to set and Ash noticed the clock on the wall at the gym as he tried his best to keep up with Brock on the treadmills. He watched him running, keeping perfect rhythm with such grace and ease…

Then he realized he was almost going to fall off the end.

"The girls are probably home." Ash commented, pulling Brock's attention away from his workout. Right, Lucy. He had almost forgotten about her. He slowed down and grabbed his towel. "Alright, man, let's get out of here then."

Ash obliged and reached down to grab his own towel but stopped short when he saw Tracy Sketchit walk in. He began to sweat even more and he dabbed his neck nervously, then looked over at Brock who was gathering his things.

"Hey Tracy!" Brock greeted him and Ash's eyes flew open. Brock knew him? Did he know he was…gay?

"Hey!" Tracy smiled and they gave each other a high five. Ash recoiled behind a weight machine. What the hell was he doing in Landview? Why couldn't he just stay in Pine Valley? Forever!

Then, it happened. They made eye contact and he noticed the corner of his mouth twitch slightly upward. Ash shot him a dirty look and turned around, pretending to dry himself off.

"Oh, this is my buddy Ash!" Brock's voice carried across the weight room and Ash froze. "Ash this is my friend Tracy."

Ash knew he had to act casual, so he did. He walked over and took Tracy's offered hand, with a firm, powerfully grip that made Tracy's fingers turn blood red, and his own knuckles turn white.

"Nice to meet you." Ash said, almost urgently. Brock saw the flicker of disappointment enter Tracy's eyes and he smiled back.

"You too."

"Well, we better get going before the ladies get home." Brock smiled and waved and headed for the exit out of the weight room. Ash followed without another word. When they got outside, Brock's cell phone rang and he dug it out of his pocket.

"Hello?…Oh, Lucy." He said, almost sounding disappointed. Was Brock having trouble in his marriage too? No, it was probably because all women were hard to deal with. He was quickly finding that out with Misty. She was so unpredictable sometimes.

He looked back in through the window and scowled angrily when he saw Tracy exit the weight room. He made eye contact with Ash and smiled. Ash remained stone-faced and wished Brock would go to the car already.

If they hadn't carpooled to the gym, he'd be gone already. Away from Tracy Sketchit.

Tracy approached the door and pushed it open, walking right by Ash. Brock was babbling about something on the phone, but Ash wasn't paying attention. His focus, his attention was completely on Tracy for some odd reason…

"Can we talk?" Tracy whispered, glancing up at Brock who had his back turned and was arguing into the phone about dinner plans.

Ash hesitated, then nodded and without getting Brock's attention, he and Tracy went to the side of the large stone building. It was an awkward few seconds and Ash was constantly watching his back for Brock to come looking for him.

Tracy kicked a piece of lose gravel from the sidewalk. "I saw you in Pine Valley a couple weeks ago. At that little dinner…I quit there last week. Moved here…"

"Why?" Ash asked angrily, not even knowing why he agreed to talk to Tracy. He was the last person he really wanted to see or speak to right now.

"To start over." He shook his head and raked his hand through his raven locks. "Too many memories in Pine Valley." He paused. "I saw you with that redhead in the _Buenos Dias_ café. Is she your friend?"

"No." He replied, tartly.

"Sister?"

"Do we look like brother and sister?" Ash rolled his eyes and stomped his foot. "Jeez, Tracy. She's my wife! We were on our honeymoon!"

"Wife?" Tracy stuffed his hand in his pockets and leaned against the cold brick of the building. "Didn't expect you to ever have a wife."

Ash shrugged his shoulders uncomfortable and kicked the same piece of loose gravel. "I've changed."

"Tell me about it." Tracy looked down at his feet and sighed, then back up to Ash who was staring at him and couldn't seem to look away. "What about college? Do you remember that?"

Ash felt as if the sidewalk had fallen out from underneath him and he broke out into a cold sweat. His felt like it was full of cotton, his throat felt parched, his lips were suddenly like desert sand. "That's all in the past."

"Sure it is! That's what I said to!"

"It was just an experiment I wanted to try, alright?" He looked away from and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I better get going! My _wife_ is expecting me home."

"Have you slept with her?" Tracy asked, causing him to whirl around, angrily.

"Of course I have!" He screeched, his voice echoing across the parking lot. "I sleep with her every night! And it's great sex! Better than anything we--" He stopped and cleared his throat.

"You don't mean that!" Tracy swallowed the lump in this throat. God, why did he put himself through this? "You and me…we…we had something."

"We didn't! And we never will!" Ash turned his back to him and looked out towards the parking lot towards Brock's truck. "So, take you and your homo-erotic fantasies and get out of Landview!"

Just as he was about to walk away, Tracy whirled him around by his wrist and brought him close. His eyes were heavily lidded with dark, thick eyelashes. Ash's lips quivered and he clung onto Tracy's shirt.

Then, he felt the warm softness of his lips. That familiar feeling of his tongue against his, the rough stubble on his face. Ash wasn't sure if he wanted to pull away or embrace it. He couldn't even think straight right now, all he could do was live in this moment when he actually felt alive.

And aroused…

"Ash? We got--whoa!" Brock's voice caused Ash to immediately pushed Tracy away. Standing their stunned, Brock dropped his cell phone onto the concrete of the sidewalk.

"What the hell! Get the fuck away from me!" Ash screamed, and he spit in Tracy's face, causing him to flinch.

"Were you…kissing…a guy?" Brock, of course already knew the answer.

"No! He was kissing me!" Ash proclaimed loudly. "I'm fucking straight! Do you hear me? I am not my fucking father! I like fucking women!" His voice screeched and cracked as he shouted at him in a fit of rage.

"Ash…" Putting his hands on his shoulders, Brock dragged him away. "Calm down, alright? We'll talk about this in the car."

"There is nothing to talk about!" Ash argued, still scowling at Tracy who looked confused, upset, and hurt. In fact, Brock recognized the look in his eyes because he had the same one the day Ash married Misty.

That look of hopelessness.

"C'mon, Ash…" He dragged him along across the parking lot and Ash tore himself away when they got halfway to his truck.

Angrily, Ash clambered into the passenger seat and tried to calm his breathing down as he heard the engine roar to life. "If you breath one word of this to Misty…"

"I'm not going to say anything." Brock promised, whipping out of the parking lot which was mostly empty by now. He thought about the magazine Misty had shown him, the fact they have been married for two weeks and he hadn't had sex with her yet, and now this.

Things were all pointing in a direction Brock didn't want to go.

But he had to.

"Ash, be honest with me…are you gay?"

"No!" He folded his arms and slammed back into the passenger seat, staring out the window.

"I was just asking. I mean, with the magazine, and the fact you haven't had sex with Misty yet…" He paused and thought about Saturday night in the gazebo. She certainly wouldn't have been horrible to make love to and Brock couldn't find any other reason why she would still remain a virgin this long.

"I've had plenty of sex with Misty!" Ash protested, falsely and Brock couldn't help but grin, arrogantly.

"Don't lie, Ash!" Brock's grin disappeared as he headed down the road. He didn't like being lied to and he knew damn well Ash hadn't consummated his marriage yet, or even attempted to, and there had to be a reason for it. He couldn't think of a reason to turn a girl like Misty down.

"Alright…so we haven't had sex yet." He admitted, sighing. "That doesn't mean I'm g-gay." He stammered and looked out the window.

"So, you're telling me Tracy just pulled you behind the building and started kissing you?"

"Hey, he said he wanted to talk, not make out. How was I supposed to know?" Ash peered over at him, but Brock's eyes were focused on the road. "Tracy's been after me for a long time but I don't have any interest because I'm _straight_!"

"Wait," Brock turned a corner and leaned back into his seat. "you know him?"

Ash paused and started to sweat again. He pushed a lock of black hair from his face and replied. "Yea, I-it was a long time ago. In college. He was in a couple of my classes. We were lab partners in chemistry."

"Then how come you acted like you didn't know him while we were inside the gym when I introduced you?"

Again, Ash panicked. "Because…I…I didn't want him to know I remembered him. That's all. He would blow it way out of proportion and think that I was in love with him." He rolled his eyes. "He's like that you know."

"Ash, we've been friends for a longtime. Since junior high." Brock said this, knowing that if Ash ever found out what he did with Misty just two nights ago, it would mean their friendship meant nothing.

"Yea, I know."

"I can read you very well and I can tell that you're lying." He put on his brake at a red light and peered over at him. He could see in Ash's eyes the panic, the worry, the uneasiness. "Be honest with me, did anything happen between you and Tracy in college?"

Ash swallowed hard and he felt lightheaded. He thought about jumping out of the truck and making a mad dash home on foot. He thought about lying, but he knew Brock could see right through him. He thought about just being quiet.

After all, Brock couldn't make him answer. But then again, that would just show his admission of guilt even more.

Would sympathy work? Maybe he could beg him to not have to give an answer.

No, that wouldn't work either. Brock was as solid as stone and didn't work with sympathy. Plus, Ash knew he was just trying to protect Misty. And didn't she deserve that?

"Well," His voice quivered and he took a deep breath. His stomach lurched forward as Brock drive through the green light. "It was just an experiment. You know, I-I was curious at the time. And Tracy and I were spending a lot of time together and it just…happened one night." He swallowed painfully again. "We were working on this chemistry project and it just…happened."

Brock turned down Ash's street and stayed quiet until they parked out in front of the house. The kitchen light was on. Misty was probably in there cooking him dinner. He tried not to think about how beautiful she looked in her black and white apron, with her hair tied back messily.

"So, it was just once."

"A few times." Ash shook his head. "It doesn't mean I'm gay though. Didn't you ever experiment like that back in college?"

"Sure I did." Brock said, throwing the car into park. "Not with men, but with plenty of women. Too many, actually."

"But I promise you, Brock." Ash tugged on the sleeve of his shirt and he faced him. "I'm not gay. I'm not like my dad. I love Misty. I swear I do!"

He sighed and gave him a weak smile. "I know you do, buddy. That's why I know you won't hurt her. That's why you haven't slept with her. You don't want to hurt her like your father did to your mom."

At first, Ash was shocked that Brock had read him like a book. How did he know what was going through his mind. Then, his shock turned to embarrassment and anger.

"Don't go all psychiatrist on me, Brock!" Ash opened the truck door and stepped out. "I'm going to make love to her. When she's ready. You just wait and see…" He slammed the door and stomped towards the house where he swung open the door and slammed it shut.

Brock sat in his truck for a few seconds and turned up his radio before putting it into drive.


	8. Kiss Me When I'm Down

Chapter 8

It had been a week since Ash had spoken to Brock. He didn't call him, didn't step foot into the gym until he circled the parking lot checking for his car and he didn't mention him to Misty.

It made him uncomfortable to talk about what had happened. He didn't want to talk about Tracy or what had happened back in college. He didn't want to feel the things he was feeling. His sex life with his newlywed wife was non-existent, besides a brief kiss before bed at night.

Even that didn't spark his interest…

Was what happened back in college more than he was chalking it up to be?

No. He wasn't gay. He _couldn't_ be. He had gotten married to a beautiful woman and he couldn't destroy his mother like that. No. Ash Ketchum was definitely straight.

The telephone blurted out like an alarm clock and Ash was being pulled from some kind of dream. A dream where he was being kissed by someone who he could not see. But he could tell it was a rough, forceful kiss. One that was dominating and demanding…not that of a woman.

Misty squinted against the early morning sun and fumbled for the telephone next to her bed. Ash lay barely awake on his back and looked up at her. God, she was beautiful. What was wrong with him?

"Hello?" Misty wiped her eyes and looked at the bedroom clock. It was barely eight A.M. she didn't have to wake up for another half hour.

"Misty, like we need you to come to Cerulean City, like right away." It was Daisy's voice and she sounded upset.

"Why?" She asked, not too concerned. A crisis to her sisters was not anything to get worried about.

"You remember that photographer Todd Snap?" Daisy asked, avoiding a giggle. "Well, he broke up with Lilly this morning, like, twenty minutes ago. So, Violet and I were planning on surprising her with, like, a party tonight at Capricorn. You know the place? The nightclub. Invite everyone you know. We want it to be a big bash!"

"Yes. Yes. I know." She crinkled her brow and shook her head. "I'll be there after I take a shower. Give me 'til nine-thirty." She threw off her quilt and hung up the phone, irritated, but not surprised.

Why today of all days? That dream she was having was too wonderful to wake up from. Why couldn't it had finished. She smiled as she fumbled through her closet door, thinking of the way Brock touched her and how he touched her in that dream.

"Where you going, Gorgeous?"

Ash's voice startled her out of her daydream and she turned around, then forced a smile. "Oh, I didn't know you were awake." She cleared her throat. "I have to go see my sisters. Lilly is apparently going through some kind of crisis with Todd, her boyfriend…or ex-boyfriend now I guess."

"Oh…" Ash sat up. "When will you be home?"

"I'll probably be gone all day. Do me a favor and call Brock…" Her heart fluttered when she said his name and a warmness spread throughout her body when she realized she would probably be seeing him tonight. The first time since that night at the park…

"W-why do you want me to call him for?"

She didn't realize she had stopped in the middle of her sentence to revel in her infatuation. "O, uh…We're planning a party tonight for Lilly. It's probably the wrong thing to do, but Violet and Daisy are convinced it's like therapy. Anyway, tell him they are both invited and to bring any friends along."

She closed the bathroom door and realized her heart was racing.

Ash looked towards the phone and realized his was racing too.

* * *

The phone rang three times before Lucy answered, much to Ash's relief.

"Hello, this is Lucy Harrison speaking…" Lucy's voice sounded like the perfect housewife's voice.

"Hey, it's me…"

"Oh, Ash. How are you? Do you need Brock?"

Ash swallowed and shook his head. "No. No. I just…wanted to tell you that there is going to be a party for Misty's sister at Capricorn tonight in Cerulean City. You and Brock are invited if you would like to come…" He sincerely hoped Brock had to work. Or that he would say no…

"Of course we'll be there!" Lucy promised, then he heard her voice echo throughout the house. "Brock, after breakfast we have to go shopping!"

He heard the low, deep, muffled voice of Brock in the background. Then Lucy's.

"Misty's throwing a big party in Cerulean City and we have to go! I have nothing to wear!" Then she turned her attention back to Ash. "Tell Misty we will be attending. Both of us."

Ash felt his stomach plummet. "Alright…bye Lucy."

"Bye."

Then, she hung up.

Tonight he would have to try extremely hard to avoid Brock. He knew his secret. The deepest, darkest, dirtiest secret he had ever kept from anyone. The secret that had been eating him alive since the night it happened. The reason he couldn't look his own mother in the eye.

The reason he hated his father…

The reason he married the most gorgeous woman he could find so he could convince himself he was straight…

He was. He was straight…

By now, he was shaking. He needed to get out of the house. Go for a drive. To anywhere. Anyplace.

Grabbing his keys from the coffee table he set out. Maybe to the mall. No, he could run into Tracy there and who knows what would happen?

Worse. Maybe he could run into Brock and Lucy as they are shopping for clothes for tonight.

This was silly. He was going to mall and he was going to enjoy himself.

* * *

Ash flipped his sunglasses over his eyes, despite that it was an overcast day. It would probably rain again. It had been raining a lot lately. In fact, the asphalt of the Landview mall parking lot was still dark with rain from the previous night.

He ran his fingers through his dark, messy hair and entered a long entrance hallway, walked by a jewelry store - the same one he bought Misty's wedding ring in- and then by a brand new BMW for sale.

He felt jumpy all over. He didn't want to run into Brock. He couldn't even stand to look him in the eye. Ash didn't feel like a man anymore in front him. He couldn't put on that macho façade when he was around any longer.

The worst part about being around Brock was he was starting to notice the attractive features about him. His scent. The feeling of his hand when he gave him a high five or a firm handshake. The square jaw. His beautiful eyes.

Things a woman would notice…

It was true. Ash was attracted to men. But he was also attracted to women. In some ways…

He stopped to get a piece of gum to calm his nerves and as he bent down to get the large, oversized ball of sugar-coated gum from the dispenser, someone startled him.

"Hey."

He jumped and dropped his gumball. It rolled across the tiled floors and disappeared under the dark blue BMW parked in front of a department store. Ash whirled around and his mouth hung open for a moment.

"W-what are you doing here?" He stammered, backing away from him. It was Tracy Sketchit. The last person on earth he wanted to see right now was Tracy Sketchit. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Ash, last week…when you kissed me…"

"Will you be quiet?" Ash hissed, receiving a few odd stares from other shoppers. Then, he looked around for Brock. If he saw him talking to Tracy, it was sure to get back to Misty. No sign of him, for now.

"Ash, let's go somewhere and talk." Tracy proposed to him and Ash found himself contemplating it.

"Tracy. I have a wife. I told you. I am straight!" He turned from him and decided he would lose him in a large department store, hiding behind one of those large perfume displays. But before he even took two steps forward, he was being pulled back to Tracy.

"Why are you lying to yourself? …To me?" His eyes scanned his face and his bottom lip shook. Not with tears, but anticipation.

Ash thought about how those lips felt against his. How his hands felt on his body. How sexy it was to hear him moan out his name just before…He shook his head. "I'm not lying to anyone! I love Misty!"

"You love me."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No! I don't!"

Tracy kissed him again, pushing him into the thin hallway of the restrooms. Ash was startled at first and almost lost his balance, but grabbed onto Tracy's shoulders and kissed him back.

"Tracy…" Ash moaned against his lips, reclaiming them urgently. His fingers tangled in his long, dark locks as he found himself searching frantically for a way to get under his shirt. Misty never turned him on this much. Never.

Then, he realized…She never would.

Finally, Tracy pulled away and stared back at him. "I've missed you."

Ash was gasping for air and he felt the aching erection that was so painfully obvious. It felt so good to be with someone he was truly attracted to. "I've missed you, too, Tracy." He swallowed heavily before brushing his cheek with his fingertips and attempted to kiss him again.

Tracy stopped him. "Not here. If you want to kiss me again, you're going to have to take me somewhere private."

"My wife's out of town. She went up to see her family all the way in Cerulean. We can go to my house." He winked at him and hurried out of the thin hallway, scanning the area of the mall and much to his horror, he saw Brock and Lucy.

They were sitting in the food court with food from the Pretzel Shop. He hurried out of their line of vision and looked across the hallway at Tracy who was already heading towards him. Quickly, he hurried out to his car and waited for Tracy to appear behind him.

He would keep this discrete. No one would ever find out.

* * *

Just before three o'clock that afternoon, Misty arrived home after the hour long interstate ride from Cerulean City. She wasn't sure why she came home since she'd just be driving back in a couple of hours, but she had housework to do that she was planning on doing if it hadn't been for the trip.

One hour of her time in Cerulean City was consoling a distraught Lilly who was angrily burning pictures of her and Todd. She tore up letters, tossed out jewelry, video tapes, Christmas ornaments, everything that reminded her of Todd Snap.

Then, they went to the Cerulean City mall and did what Violet called "Therapy shopping". Then it was on to Capricorn, which was an elegant restaurant by day and flashy nightclub by night. The reservations were made and the guest list was in check.

That's when she headed back home to do a few chores like vacuum, sweep the floors, dust the furniture, or maybe just do some laundry. Anything to get her mind off Brock and how she was going to look in the new dress she brought at the mall this morning.

Misty opened the front door and sat her purse down on the coffee table, next to a coffee cup.

She growled and rolled her eyes. "Ugh, Ash! Can't you ever clean up after yourself?" Mumbling to herself, she picked it up and noticed that another one was located right next to it. Both were only half full.

Suddenly, she became nervous. Was Brock here?

No, if he was, she knew exactly where he would be. In the kitchen talking to Ash or right here in the living room, watching some kind of ball game with Ash. The entire house was silent, but wasn't empty.

She peered out the window. The forest green sedan parked across the street was not familiar to her, but she figured it was probably her neighbors guest. Or perhaps they brought a new car.

Ash's car was still parked in front of the house.

He was definitely home.

"Ash?" Misty called out and placed her hand on the rail of the staircase as she climbed up. "Ash? Where are you?" The shower wasn't running. Nor was the television. He must have been asleep. It wasn't unusual for him to take a mid-afternoon snooze.

Without knocking, she swung open their bedroom door and felt her entire body stiffen with grotesque shock.

Ash pushed Tracy off of him, causing him to stumble backwards over the jeans that were fallen around his ankles. "Misty!"

"Oh my god…" Her eyes stung as the tears threatened to show and she covered her mouth, wide-eyed and unmoving. Her entire body was numb and she wasn't even aware she was crying.

Not only was her husband having an affair. He was having it with a man.

She sank down against the wall and cried harder than she had ever cried in her entire life. She hated herself for not seeing the signs. She hated herself for marrying him. But most of all, she hated herself for feeling guilty all week about what happened between her and Brock.

The bedroom door swung open and Ash stood there, fully dressed and embarrassed. "Misty, I- I can explain."

"You don't need to!" She stood up and wiped tears from her eyes until she could see clearly. Then, with blurry vision she hurried down the stairs. Ash chased after her.

"Misty, wait…I'm…I'm sorry!"

"I'm not going to Capricorn tonight. Why don't you take _him_ as your date?" She shot Tracy a mean glare before tearing herself out of Ash's grasp. "Get your hands off me, sick bastard!"

She slammed the front door so hard that it forced their largest wedding picture off the wall and shattered it to the floor. Getting back into her car, she started it but could not see clearly enough to drive. Her vision was blurred by tears again that she just could not control.

Angrily, she rolled down her window and threw her wedding ring across the front lawn. She couldn't bare to wear it anymore now that everything made sense. She had to get out of here before Ash tried to talk to her again.

She didn't even want to look at him.

Pulling out her cell phone, she knew exactly who to call. She knew his number by heart.

The phone rang an agonizing four times before his voice crackled over the speaker. She could hear a medley of voices in the background.

"Hello?"

"Brock, I need you to come and get me. I can't drive."

"What? Why? What's wrong?" He was standing at the checkout line of a very expensive department store. He handed the cashier his credit card.

"I saw Ash…and…" She looked towards the house, towards the bedroom window. She couldn't say it. It was all too confusing and she kept wondering if she was ever going to wake up from this terrible nightmare.

"Misty, are you at home?"

"I'm in the driveway."

"Don't move, Sweetheart." He grabbed his shopping bags and flagged Lucy down who still had a pile of clothes hanging off her arm. "I'm leaving the mall right now. You just try to calm down."

Sweetheart? Since when did he call her sweetheart? Suddenly, she wasn't crying anymore. Just fretting. Like she did when she was five and her ice cream cone fell on the ground. Or like that time in kindergarten when the bigger kid pushed her off the monkey bars.

Brock still hadn't hung up. She could hear him talking to Lucy.

"Lucy, we have to go. I have to pick up Misty." She heard him say, but she couldn't hear Lucy. "I don't know, but she's really upset….alright, fine. I'll be back to pick you up later then." His voice became clearer and louder now. "I'll be there in five minutes. I promise."

"Ok…" She said, softly. Then, she shut off her car. She looked terrible. On top of being tired, her hair was messed, her eyes were now red and puffy, and her nose was as red as Rudolph.

And Brock was on his way.

Then she thought of how strange it was to worry about something like that at a time like this.

Every car that passed she hoped it was Brock and she didn't feel relieved until she saw his truck race down her street and stop with a jolt behind the forest green sedan that she now knew belonged to the man Ash was with.

She raced towards his car and he leaned over and opened the door.

"Just…get me out of here, please." Misty begged him as she climbed inside and settled into the passenger seat.

Brock didn't question her, he just did as she said and neither one of them spoke until they were out of the neighborhood, headed back towards Landview mall. He already knew what had happened. It was only a matter of time.

"Brock, he was with…a man. A guy…in our…bed." Misty felt her stomach churn as she admitted it out loud. Embarrassed beyond belief, she was shaking so vigorously the lose hinges on the door were rattling.

He reached over and placed his hand on her leg. "Calm down, Sweetheart."

She looked over at him. He called her that name again and she could literally feel her heart jump inside her chest. It sounded beautiful and sexy coming from his voice, the way his lips moved when he spoke.

Why in the hell was she even crying over Ash?

"Misty, I'm sorry you had to see that." He apologized and came to a stop in front of a stoplight. She looked over at him only for a second, then looked away. What could be going through his mind right now?

"Why couldn't he just…tell me he was gay? I wouldn't hate him. I'd still be his friend. I just…wouldn't have married him." She folded her arms over her chest. "Now I know why he didn't want to…you know…" She didn't dare finish her sentence. It was too awkward.

His palm skimmed roughly over her thigh and she felt a rush of heat spread through her body. "Ash can't even admit it to himself. You confronted him about the magazine and he denied it. He's obviously uncomfortable with his sexuality."

"It's my fault." She said after a moment as he pulled his truck into an empty parking space in front of Landview mall. "I did this to him."

Brock put the truck in park and stared over at her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, protectively. "Hey, don't you blame yourself. None of this is your fault." He forced her to look up at him, even though she'd rather look anywhere else.

"He's gay because of me! I'm so ugly and hideous I turned him off from women and--" She was quieted by his kiss. A rough, unrehearsed, passionate, unstoppable kiss that sent her into a tornado of emotion.

He slowly parted from her, shaking just as much as he was. "You are not ugly. Or hideous. I don't kiss ugly women like that. There is your proof." He offered her a smile and even though she thought she could never smile again, she did.

An awkward silence passed between them. Misty finally broke it. "I'm not going to Capricorn tonight. I can't…"

"You should. I'm going to be there." His elbow rested in the middle seat and he leaned over until he was eye level with her breasts.

"Yea, with Lucy." She folded her arms and sighed.

"She'll get drunk within the first fifteen minutes, anyway. I'll need someone to dance with. Besides, it's not good for you to sit around and think about this all day. You should go out and have some fun…with me." He smiled up at her and she smiled back, then looked out the window.

"Well, it is for my sister…I guess I should go."

"See, there is another reason." He sat up and plucked his keys from the ignition. "C'mon, let's go get Lucy. You can come with us to the party."


	9. I Do, But I Don't

Chapter 9

It felt strange coming to a party like this without a date. Usually, Misty was always with Ash or at least a close male friend that she had no sexual attraction towards. Most of her homecoming and prom dates were Lilly's friends that she begged or even sometimes paid to take her little sister to the school dance so she could at least _look_ like she had a life.

Now, she was tagging along with Brock and Lucy who entered Capricorn's doors, hand-in-hand. She felt a strange sense of jealousy. One she didn't even feel when she saw Tracy and Ash together just hours before.

Lucy dragged him straight to the bar and of course, Misty followed.

"One Appletini please!" Lucy ordered up, holding out her hand expectantly to Brock. He handed her twenty bucks.

"I'm not paying anymore than twenty dollars worth of drinks for you. If you want more you'll have to get them from someone else." Brock leaned against the bar and declined a beer the bartender offered him.

Lucy took a sip of her lime green martini and stirred it with the skewed olives. "You're such a party pooper." She grinned and rolled her eyes at Misty.

"Do you want anything?" Brock asked, swiveling on his barstool to face Misty.

"Yea!" Lucy took another long sip and smiled. "Nothing says 'I'm grieving over my failed marriage' like an appletini! Try one!"

Sighing, Brock shook his head. "Ignore her."

"No. I'm alright." She said, shifting her weight uncomfortably. "I just kind of want to sit here."

Lucy stood up and stuffed the change from the twenty dollar bill into her clutch purse. "Well, you have fun. I'm going to go cheer up Lilly. Oh, Barbara and Scott are coming! Brock, you owe me a dance later."

"Yea. Sure." He waved her off and turned his attention back to Misty.

"She invited her sister and her husband, too?"

"Yea. I can't stand Barbara. She hates me for no reason." He leaned forward and put his hand on her leg, which was exposed by the short pale pink dress she had picked out earlier that day. The one she was planning on wearing as Ash's date.

"Why?"

"Barbara doesn't trust me. She thinks I'm going to cheat on Lucy." Brock peered up at her as the fluorescent light from the bar danced off her hair. She looked back at him a bit uneasy, but curiosity filled her eyes. "Maybe she has right to be concerned." He brought her hand up to his mouth and placed an erotic kiss on the back of it.

Misty blushed and looked away. "You wouldn't do that."

"Hell if I wouldn't. I kind of already did." His hands traveled inexorably up her dress and she felt so sinful for enjoying it. "Do you remember?"

Misty bit her lower lip and crossed her legs, keeping him from going further. She nodded and smiled. How could she forget something like that? "Of course I remember…" Her voice was almost a growl as she stared at him in the smoky, neon-lit atmosphere. She wanted to do so many things with him.

More than what they had already done. And she knew he wanted it to.

He peered back at Lucy who was dancing with her brother-in-law in a rather provocative way. Any other guy he would have probably punched him in the face, but he knew Scott, and he knew Barbara wouldn't stand for him touching her older sister in any kind of way deemed inappropriate.

"Would you care to dance?" Brock invited her and for a moment she hadn't even realized he was talking to her.

She hesitated and looked at his offered hand. "I'd love to." She said and he helped her off the barstool. Awkwardly enough, the fast paced music switched to a slow song and she wondered how Lilly would react to that.

She spotted her older sister and knew it was evident she was already over Todd Snap. She was slow dancing and kissing a very attractive dark-haired man and Misty smiled. It didn't take her sister's long to move on from one guy to another, but she was different.

It would take her a while to get over Ash Ketchum and move on. It would take her a while to accept the fact Brock was married to one of her very good friends. She was falling love with him, she could already tell. The way he held her, the way he gazed down at her while he held her close to him. He was making her fall for him.

Misty wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up at him. "Brock?"

"Hm?" He asked lazily as he laced his fingers with hers. It felt so good to be with him like this.

"Do you love Lucy?" It was a strange question to ask, but then again her whole day had been strange.

"Of course I love her." Brock responded, brushing her cheek with his hand. "I mean, I care about her of course. But, I'm not in love with her."

"What's the difference?" Misty asked him, looking at the way he held her hand. His thumb made small circles in her palm and even though the music had gone back to some fast techno beat, he was just holding her close to him, gently swaying her back and forth.

The blue neon lights from the DJ booth reflected off his face, but other than that she couldn't see him. It was too dark and before she knew it he was kissing her again for the second time that day and she started to melt in his grasp.

He pulled her hand and laid it flat against his chest and pulled away from her. "Feel that?"

Misty could feel his heart beat. Rapid and pounding wildly in his chest, it was even beating faster than her own. She nodded.

"That's the difference. I love Lucy, but you…" He ran his fingers through her hair and cupped her face with his hands. "you make me feel things I have never felt before. You excite me in a way I can't really explain."

What was he saying? That she was just kind of some cheap, sexual thrill? That figures. It was just like Brock to say something like that. "So, you're attraction to me is just…sexual…" She hated herself for blushing at the word.

"No, I'm not saying that." He leaned down so that he was eye level with her. "In fact, I'm saying the opposite."

Her gaze shot to him and he straightened his posture. "I'm saying I want more than what we had at the park that night. A lot more." He kissed her again and she wondered if they were hidden in the shadows enough not to get caught.

Her back slammed against the wall and her arms wrapped around his neck instinctively. His hands were underneath her short dress again and this time she wasn't going to stop him.

However, someone else did…

"Harrison, what the hell are you doing?" It was Barbara's voice, the accusatory tone told them both she already knew exactly what he was doing. He pulled away from Misty and looked back at the blond-haired girl who was smirking at the two of them. "Well, well, wait until Lucy gets a load of this."

"You're not going to tell Lucy anything." Brock called her bluff and she folded her arms.

Barbara looked over his shoulder at Misty who was still pressed against the wall, looking frightened. "Wow, Brock. You really don't have standards do you? Isn't this your little friend from high school?"

"This is none of your business Barbara…" He stood in front of Misty so that his sister-in-law couldn't intimidate her anymore. "Why the fuck did you come looking for me?"

"Well, you're wife is getting wasted while your over here sucking face with _her_." She pointed to her and then smiled. "Oh and Ash Ketchum's looking for you. Says he needs to talk to you. Probably something about you trying to nail his wife."

Brock rolled his eyes. "Ash is here?"

"Uh duh…you're making out with his newlywed bride. Of course he's here!" She sighed and held up her hand. "You better be lucky I'm not a total bitch. Or I'd tell Lucy. But she can handle assholes like you on her own."

Barbara walked away, swaying her hips in a seductive motion and Brock turned back to Misty who seemed very uneasy. "Ash is here?"

"You go find your sisters or something alright? I'm going to find Ash and see what he wants. I have to confront him anyway."

"About today?"

"Yes, about today. He's not going to get away with what he did to you." Before she could stop him, he was gone.

Ash was standing against the wall and he seemed to grow tense as Brock approached him. "Brock…"

"Why the fuck would you hurt Misty like that? And who the fuck invited you?"

"I can explain. Ok? I promise…and Misty's sisters invited me." Ash stuffed his hands in his pockets. Brock was angry or frustrated or something because he never cursed like that unless he was mad.

"Explain…" Brock folded his arms and Ash looked away, towards the DJ booth, the people on the dance floor, and then back up at Brock.

"Well, I was at the mall today and I saw Tracy…" He scraped his toe across the floor and looked down. "I told him to go away. I'm married to a woman I love very much, but he just wouldn't. I decided to leave and he must have followed me home…" He paused and he wondered if Brock could tell he was lying.

"And? What? You bent over and he tripped and fell?"

"No!" Ash denied angrily. "I told you we had this experimentation thing back in college. It was just remnants from…that. I'm straight, Brock! And I love Misty. That's why I wanted to talk to you."

"What am I supposed to do about it?" Brock leaned against the wall nonchalantly, leisurely scanning the crowds of people for Misty. He couldn't see her, but of course he wasn't expecting to.

"Talk to her!" Ash insisted. "She listens to you. She trusts you. Tell her I'm straight and that I love her. I'll even make love to her if that's what she wants."

Taking a deep breath, he tried to ignore that last idea. Somehow, Brock had gotten the idea in his head that no one was going to touch Misty except him, even though it was wrong to think that way.

"Listen, Ash, I've been trying to talk to Misty all day long. She won't listen to me either. Women are very steadfast creatures. You have to give them time." Brock spotted her at the bar talking to a rather short man with shiny brown hair and a devilish smile. Jealousy hit him like a ton of bricks.

He didn't draw Ash's attention to it.

"Do you think she'll ever come back to me?" Ash asked.

"Hard to say." Brock responded, distantly. "Listen, I'll talk to her, but I don't think you and Misty are going to work out."

Ash's eyes widened. "Why not?"

"You're lying to yourself. Your not into women. If you were, this wouldn't have happened." Brock told him. "Look, dudes don't fuck other dudes because their bored. There has to be an attraction there."

"Well, what if I'm attracted to both sexes?" Ash's frantic question seemed like a whisper to him as Brock focused all his attention on Misty and the mystery man.

"You're not." He replied, shaking his head, realizing he had no reason to be jealous. "Let Misty move on and be happy."

"You really think that I'm…I'm g-g-" He stammered and almost gagged on the word. It wasn't easy for him to say it out loud.

"Gay?" Brock finished for him. "Yes, Ash. I believe your gay and how the hell are you supposed to admit that to Misty if you can't even admit it to yourself?" He walked away from him and disappeared into the crowd of people.

Then, he turned around and almost fainted. Tracy Sketchit sat at a small table with a young, attractive, handsome guy, both of them sipping cosmopolitans. "What the hell are you doing here?" He asked, tearing Tracy's attention away from the other man.

"Oh, Ash, I wasn't sure if you'd make it." Tracy said, standing up and taking a sip of his cosmopolitan. "Excuse me, Chet."

"Chet? Isn't that my dad's…boyfriend?" Ash looked back in disbelief and he was relieved his mother wasn't there.

"They're on the fritz." Tracy informed him with a smile.

"Oh…" He folded his arms and looked away. "So I suppose this afternoon met nothing to you? Just one of your promiscuous flings?"

"'course not. It meant the world to me, Ash." Tracy finished off his drink and put it down on a nearby table. "I love you…"

"Your delusional! I'm not even gay!"

"Stop lying!" Tracy demanded him.

"You sound like Brock!" Ash said it as if it were an insult and he tore himself away from Tracy. "I have to go find my wife. Who I'm going to get back and when I do I'm going to be the best man she's ever known."

Tracy watched him and then sat back down at the table with Chet Wilkins who ordered up another round of drinks for the two of them.

Chet smiled and leaned back. "He's just like Spencer. Doing anything he can to deny who he truly is. He'll come around, Trace. Just like is father did." He toasted him.

"Let's hope so."

* * *

"Excuse me…" Brock's deep, demanding voice caused the dark-haired man to cower a bit and he stood up from the barstool seat next to Misty.

"I'm sorry…if these seat was taken. Are you her husband?" The man asked.

"Brock, this is Rudy. He's Violet's friend from college. Rudy, this is Brock. My friend from high school."

"Junior high actually." Brock offered his hand and Rudy took it. Roughly, he greeted him.

"Oh…" Rudy cleared his throat. "Well, my beautiful lady, if you change your mind about the drink I'll be in the lounge. Later, Gorgeous."

Replacing Rudy's position at the bar, he watched him walk leisurely to the lounge. "He thinks he's so cool. Was he hitting on you?"

"A little, but…I don't care." She took one of his hands and he was surprised by that bold move. "You're back now. What did Ash say?"

Brock looked down at her hand as he held it. She had beautiful hands and he noticed the absence of her wedding ring. "He wants me to talk to you about getting back with him but I know it's useless. You shouldn't go back to him. He's headed down a very bad road of self-denial and you don't need to be caught in the middle of that."

Misty knew he was right. Ash was lying to himself by getting married to her. He would be lying to himself if he did have sex with her. Their entire life together would be a total lie and she didn't deserve that. No woman did. "So what do I do?"

He leaned forward and ran his other hand along her legs again. "You can either go tell Rudy you want that drink…or you can spend the rest of the evening with me."

* * *

Authors Note: What do you guys think? =) This story is continued in part two, titled: "Take Me Away From Here". If you wish to continue reading, Enjoy!!!


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